I got triggered, relapsed and feel awful rn

I havent posted in a week. I have been drinking almost every one of the last seven days. My sleep is terrible right now, it takes 3 melatonin and a shot of tequila for me to sleep now.

I was doing so well, but the flashbacks were just getting worse and worse and i feel awful. Im crying while typing this. I feel like i have let all of you down and i feel so ashamed. I had therapy on Tuesday and it brought up so much that i had a drink after. I dont know where it went wrong. Im only 18 hours now, i made months before and now a week is a challenge.

I finally told my therapist about my alcoholism. I addmitted it to a professional, i start group next friday and im getting better. Im trying.

Im trying. Its so hard though. Im just done and i want everything to stop. I want the pain to stop. The hangovers. The disapointement in my friends eyes. I cant let that happen again.

Im back. Im gonna post as often as needed and do my best to stay sober.

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Relapse is a part of recovery.

I’m so sorry that everything feels so heavy. Just remember to breathe.

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I’m proud of you for finding the courage to talk to someone, seek help and come back to sobriety!

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It’s easy to stumble and fall, it’s having the strength to get back up and continue on your path that counts!!

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Don’t let yourself down forever.keep trying and never ever lose the hope.I’m sure this time will be the best and right one .Good luck and stay strong

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Glad you’ve told your therapist about your addiction, that’s a huge step forwards!

Keep the above quote in mind. Write it down and put it in your wallet or on your fridge. You can reed it when you have cravings or start to romanticize the alcohol.
Your back that counts!
Hope you have a great group next friday, give it all you can and it will pay out!!
And do it for YOU! Not for us and not for your friends.

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Think of success as not how high u can climb but how u bounce back when u fall down!!

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I truly believe that relapse is NOT a part of recovery…but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen and it doesn’t mean you should feel guilt or shame. It does happen. It happened a LOT to me. And those feelings of guilt and shame will, sadly, keep you in that cycle of sobriety and relapse.

What can you learn from this? Can you identify what was happening to led you to this relapse? Do you think you can develop some tools to handle those situations differently? Telling your therapist is a HUGE step forward because s/he will help you find those tools and help you to recognize the triggers before they overtake you.

You CAN do this. I know you can. Love yourself and tell yourself daily how you deserve love, life, and sobriety. :sparkling_heart:

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i agree that relapse dosnt have to be part of recovery , for me going to meetings made it easier to stay sober keep on trucking

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Very true. My relapses were brutal. They taught me the wrong way to recover. I suppose it was good to find out what didn’t work, but I wouldn’t wish that misery on anyone. Plus there’s a lot of people here who have gotten sober without relapsing. I’m not one of them but they exist

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Hey @Jay6, today is a new day. You’re taking the right steps by telling your therapist about your alcoholism. It’s going to get harder before it gets easier but it will get better. You need to stay strong and stay on the right path-if that means checking in on this forum every few hours, so be it. You can not do this alone!

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Remember that you are stronger than that alcohol. Dont do it for your friends. Do it for yourself and then everything else will fall into place. Good luck!

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You have just slipped and not fallen.I encourage you to not submit and give up.By seeking help you are moving in the right direction

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Would it be better if I typed “can be a part of recovery”? eyeroll

Have you relapsed? Did you learn anything? So is that part of your recovery story?

There is a philosophical disagreement here around the premise “relapse is part of recovery”. I happen to believe it is not. I believe it is an intentional interruption in the recovery process. If someone were in remission from cancer, and the cancer returned, would we consider this “recovery”, or a return of illness and respond with aggressive treatment to return to remission?

I have had what I consider to be one relapse, although I have quit and returned to drinking numerous times. The difference in these cases was previously my quits weren’t with the intention to never drink again. My one and only relapse occurred in January 2017. I had about a month sober, when my mother passed. I started drinking again, and drank for 11 months, and during those months I was slowly dying. Definitely not recovering.

But I am me, and you are you. Your mileage may vary.

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Well put my friend

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Agreed. By saying relapsing is part of recovery you basically are telling people it’s okay to relapse, bc hey it’s part of recovery. Well I can tell you there are graveyards full of people who thought their relapse was part of the recovery. I know they almost killed me. Relapses do happen, but they don’t have to. And if you want to live you should definitely try to avoid them.

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This is EXACTLY what I did. My first time around I “relapsed” at 17 days because it was so easy to justify that “it’s okay, everyone does it”. Now, I put “relapse” in quotes because really I never really was doing anything for recovery at that point and maybe that’s the point. Maybe that’s why I was so easily convinced that having a drink was okay.

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