I have to cut off my legs. (Metaphorically)

I just wanna start this off by saying that I am staying as positive as I can about this but it’s still really hard. I was hoping someone could give me some advice.
This weekend was my moms birthday and we went to the beach in Mexico. I fully planned to enjoy some quality time with them and was very excited for the trip. I thought everything was going great, however, as soon as we pulled up to the hotel the decision was made that I was going to use and I stopped at nothing.
I’ve never been to this place before so I knew no one at all, I wasn’t familiar with the streets and didn’t know how safe it was. Well, after a whole day of obsessively searching, I was finally able to find it. I went on for a couple of days and just met person after person. I really messed up. I wasn’t present for the trip and I don’t know how none of what was going on was able to halt me.
Now I’m about to go back to work in a couple of days so I have to kick it into super overdrive. I already tried the psych ward last month and it didn’t do much.
It is now time for some drastic measures. I need to cut off my legs. Of course I don’t mean literally. Right now my legs are anything that help me get to the stuff. My car keys, my cell phone, my iPad, my Apple Watch and my computer all serve as my legs right now. I’ve even gone as far as using my smart tv to get in contact with people but I don’t think the desperation is currently to that point. Once I do this, I’ll have a better chance of staying focused on my detox. I also need to work on my hydration, self care, and therapy- which brings me to this lovely app. I’m just learning the ropes but I’m looking forward to any comments and will also try my best to get involved.
Thanks for listening.

7 Likes