I just need an ear instead, when I want to turn to beer

motivation

#1

I’m on the edge of quitting. Fortunately I still have my good health. And therefore I still am able to help other people in my life.

I’m a single dad with a fourteen-year-old daughter and tends to be a little bit rude… a perfect storm of awesome extraversion (she’s a real people person), insecurity from the divorce, and female-style teenage rebellion.

I’ll go for a drink to take the edge off at night, and sometimes that turns into a few more.

If someone’s out there I can just contact instead of going for that first drink, someone to help motivate me I think I can do this. I feel so alone.


#2

Hey there! I know how you feel! Today is my day 6 and I’ve been frustrated and irritable all day. But I know for me, drinking won’t help. It’ll make it so much worse. So if you to vent or someone to talk to, talk here! :slight_smile: this is a safe place for it. I use this as my outlet, as I found out I really needed one! :honeybee::honeybee::honeybee:


#3

Hey glad your here @Lono.
Having teenagers was a rough time in my parenting too. We have 2 daughters. I understand why you would think it would be easier to drink than to deal with her sober. I found after I got sober it was much easier to talk to them and I gained their respect after a few months and a very sincere apology on my part.
There is usually someone here to chat with anytime of day or night. If you dont get a quick response try searching for what you need.
Your in a great place to help you get and stay sober.
Keep coming back.


#4

Does this site allow private messages? I am not even sure…Send me one if you can and we can talk…


#5

Oh I so know what you mean. I’ve got a 15 year old that cries at the drop of the hat and a 12 year old that gets embarrassed if I say “hello” to her in public.

Honestly just post here as often as you need. There should always be someone here to reply.


#6

get a hot meal in you friend, hope you are ok


#7

I will use the technique you suggested, to just check in here when that moment, which I know is ultimately transitory anyway, hits.

Sober is so much better. I tried to use the next stage discomfort as a part of my motivation. I also try to use the faces of the good people near me as motivation. If I think of all the wonderful people I seen during the day in my mind at the moment of weakness it helps. Although sometimes the mind wants to block that out.


#8

Sometimes I get that way. I get so fixated on a drink that I don’t consider anything else around me. Not my well being, not my friends and family who worry about me, not my responsibilities. Nothing. I actually fought that off last night. I was craving a drink so bad. But I got through it. I reached out for help. And now I feel better.
I still feel like I’m on shaky ground but its trying to level itself out. Its better than me drinking! On an ironic note, I got a call from my sister saying that she and my brother got into a drunken fight with my dad. I don’t live with them so it doesn’t affect me as much as it could. We’re a family of drinkers, so hearing this has given me some perspective. I’m happy to be sober today. :slight_smile: :honeybee::honeybee::honeybee: have a great day! Check in here whenever you need to! I will too!


#9

Thanks. I will take your advice and check in with this group when I think a boost can help.

Hearing your experience about your ‘third-person’ account with the family inspiring you inspired me as well.

I am beginning to associate next regret as a booster.


#10

Hi again! I had a crazy day and immediately called my sponsor because I got a sudden craving. I was very upset that I would have to walk home 3 miles in a snow storm because I couldn’t get a signal on my phone. So I couldn’t catch a ride. Then walked to the AA meeting. But honestly? I feel so great right now! Like I did when I use to work out! I miss it! So I think k I’m going to do it again tomorrow even with the snow!
How are you doing today???


#11

Hi Emily! (By the way, I am Robert, nice to meet you.)

Today, I am doing well.

Yesterday a local appointments challenge me to join a 5-day water fast. Sounds crazy, right;
But, I’ve done something similar before.

The purpose of the fast is an interesting topic, it’s not religious, but it’s a topic for another time.

The point is, that since it’s meant as a detoxification protocol oh, it’s a chance to help me stay away from that… well … drinking!


#12

So, I’m on my first day of that. And you’re checking in is a real inspiration! So, thank you for that. It is really easy to fall back. And, I think that your remembering the time when you exercise too significant. I took a break from the gym now for almost a year and looking at before and after pictures I looked a lot younger when I was working out and not drinking so much.

So I think that’s great. I think it’s great that you’re maybe considering working out again. I think it’s awesome no, because from what I read in the science of literature that even a little bit of exercise contributes to our help as much as eating good food does.


#13

Thanks for the encouragement Sue. a lot of people have been giving me the advice of, just be patient and remember the age and maturation difference. Being patient is perhaps the big key here.


#14

Hey again!!! Not doing too much with myself tonight! How are you doing??? I walked about 5 miles yesterday and 3 miles today, it really wore me out especially with all of the snow. But its still something to be happy about!!
Any plans for valentines day??? :honeybee::honeybee::honeybee:


#15

I really have had a problem with binge drinking for quite a while. But now that I’m on this water fast I have purpose to stay away from that. plus, I always think about the wonderful people in my life when I’m about to have a drink passes very quickly when you don’t act on.

I learned that from a video that was on this board and from Buddhist studies I’ve been reading. In the teachings of Buddhism, I remind you that all things are fleeting including cravings… while I’m doing my water fast, hunger comes for about a half hour and then passes and then I’m not hungry anymore. So I’m learning a lot from that. And I try to walk a couple of kilometers everyday.

Valentine’s day is traditionally July 7th here in Taiwan. by the way I am moving back to the states on the East coast in March or April, that said there are a couple of girls that are interested in me. So I haven’t decided 2 go out yet on the 14th because, well, for me I’m in “the getting-to-know-you stage” regarding those girls.

How about you? I hope you’re able to defeat your cravings. Just let them pass and think about the face on someone who wouldn’t want you to be unhappy because of drinking. I believe in you you can do it


#16

How are you today?? I’ve been really busy the past few days so my check ins have been brief.
One thing I’ve really been trying to do is stay busy and stay active. So I’ve been walking everywhere I want or need to go. It doesn’t matter what I’m doing, going to meetings, classes or grocery shopping. It helps keep my mind off of drinking especially if you’re so tired after walking 7 miles. It’s a good, refreshing feeling!
But how’s your day been? Hopefully something works out for you with someone. I’m definitely out of the dating seen for a nice long while! I have to get my head back on straight!!! :joy: hope you’re having a good day! :honeybee::honeybee::honeybee:


#17

I wish that our interaction could be very powerful benefit for supporting one another. However, I feel that texting is only perhaps mildly supporting.

That said, I really appreciate you checking in. My meaning is I don’t know how helpful texting is for you.

One thing that is really help me recently is that I went on a 3-day water fast. Because you have to stay on that fast, you are dedicated to a task that demands that you exclude alcohol. The benefit of the fast is that it will reboot your immune system and clear out sick and dead cells from your body. It is also been proven to reverse arthritis and Alzheimer’s disease and hypoglycemia and diabetes. I recommend it if you can handle it.

Another thing that has been helpful for me is that I have been practicing Vipassana meditation.

It is a very simple form of Buddhist Meditation from India. But it requires that you sit. It is very wonderful because, most people don’t know it, that the original Indian Buddhism is completely compatible with Christianity or any other spiritual belief because the original Indian Buddhism does not promote the worship of any deities.

The original Buddha who was from India was only concerned with mastering the mine. You might look into it. anyway if you don’t I won’t be disappointed. Hahaha everyone has to do their own thing.

Stay strong and do whatever it takes to stay on the good path in the long run it will benefit you and you will be healthy and strong.

Thanks again for checking in. Oh, also one other concept that has been helpful for me is the idea of self care. If you check out dr. Jordan Peterson’s 12 rules for living, one of the rules that parallels with teachings from the Bible and from Buddhism is that you deserve the same love and care that you would give to someone that you love very deeply. This is not a selfish kind of love. It is been said that if one cannot love oneself it is difficult to truly love others. You might want to look into reading about this from the book 12 rules for living and also Google it about love o loving yourself. Okay nice to hear from you. Stay in touch if you can. Also I’m in Taiwan so if you use a texting application like messenger or it would be free to make phone calls for a video chat. That might be fun. Anyway let me know. One way or another. and stay away from the booze because all it will do is make you feel sick and horrible. And you might want to try to stay https://youtu.be/1T9apksOv6k


#18

I’m very interested in the water flush. What do you do??? How to do you go about it? Do you eat anything at all when you do it??? I’ve been looking into some detoxes for my liver would that help for that??? I’m curious now, I’d really love to find out more!
The self care stuff has always been incredibly hard for me. I always put everyone’s needs before myself but that lead to me feeling like I deserved a drink. Like I was a martyr for taking care of my family. Ugh I was so misguided!!! I’ll have to look into it!!! :slight_smile: :honeybee::honeybee::honeybee:


#19

I need to take my afternoon nap now. But I will tell you about it and give you some more professional style medical style references. Later tonight. one of the benefits is that it will clean your liver as much as possible. So, if you are really ready for sobriety it’s a great way to start.


#20

Try this link to a PDF on my Gmail drive: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B_DnNMw_u_1nTnR5T3czdkI3Y3RNWTFLYWVaRnFINWw4aWt3/view?usp=drivesdk

Let me know if you can get it.