I’ll get it eventually

Day 1- again. For the umpteenth time. I’m doing it “alone” in the sense that my support team tapped out. They’re done with my bs and my chaos. Can’t blame them.
I have you guys and I have a new found strength that came when I stopped relying on others to help me. In the past I’ve gotten sober because they told me I needed to. And I agreed with them.
This time I got sober because I’m done being angry, I’m done not taking care of myself. I’m ready to be present and grow. Alcohol is such a bixch to give up because it’s legal, readily available and highly socially acceptable. I love painting. It’s my release and my happy place. Lately I’ve realized that I also liked to get a bit drunk and paint on a Sunday afternoon. I love rebellion.
I need to find another way to rebel. Sober :slight_smile:

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What about setting up and painting in a public place? You could rope yourself off for social distancing and to seem to be working in an official capacity and make a scene. Sounds fun, actually.

Congrats on beginning your journey on your own terms. Glad you came here to talk about it.

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Have you thought about a program of some sort?
AA, SMART?
Welcome, by the way.

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I think you have the best reason to be sober, for YOU!! You are worth it!! Congratulations on day 1 you got this! Also, you will find a sober way to be a rebel!! :green_heart:

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Welcome! The one thing that I have learned in my stumbles and past falls is that “support” is a VERY ambiguous word. Some people (maybe not you) think that white-knuckling it and expecting the world to not drink around them is “support.” Support can come in so many various styles. You have to find the one that fits you. In my original journey, I though checking into rehab and just “stopping” was enough. It wasn’t. After relapsing over and over, I think I have finally learned MY style (so far so good anyway ;D ). LOTS OF READING, this forum and the wonderful wise people that come with it, my children celebrating my achievements in sobriety, and basically replacing those urges with things that I enjoy-baking, movies, reading, and lots and lots of laughter. The BIGGEST one for me is ACCOUNTABILITY. So, find your “fit.” One size doesn’t fit all :slight_smile: Lots of luck and big hugs!!! :heart: :heart: :heart:

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Never give up! Do it for you because you will have those days that make you feel alone. Your not though because many of us are exactly where you are. I can feel it too, a nice rain here in Oregon this morning after all these fires serves as a powerful symbol of renewal.

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Thanks everyone.

My grandma just got sent to the hospital with an extremely dangerously low heart rate. She’s been sick for months so I don’t know what’ll happen at this point. … so yay day 1.

Hi @justpk, welcome! I hope your grandma will be ok? They can do a lot for low heart rate and she’s defo in the right place. I’m really glad you’re here with us on your journey, sounds like you have made the decision to do this for YOU which is the most important part. Be kind to yourself and just don’t drink today. One day at a time, together we can do this. Sending hugs to you and your Grandma, stay strong my friend :pray:t2::two_hearts:

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Im an artist too. I ruined a LOT of paintings because I was drunk. Work sober and watch yourself get better. It wont be easy, but it will feel good to watch yourself improve.

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