I loved my first Refuge Recover Meeting!

So, today I am on Day 5, for maybe the 5(0)th time. I fell off last time the day after Scott (ThirdMonkey) left the forum. It was that guy who tried to talk me off the ledge, so to speak, when I had a PTSD episode outside an AA meeting. I used him leaving the forum as a reason to leave the forum. Read: Excuse to drink.

So, I have tried online AA, SMART, Refuge Recovery meetings, In-person SMART Meetings, but never made it inside an AA meeting. That story is floating around this forum somewhere.

SMART has a basis I like, but I didn’t feel like there was any learning or hashing out. It seemed to me that 99.9% of the attendees ( I was the .1%) were there to get a probation card signed. And hey, that’s great. Whatever reason they are there, I am glad they are there. However, it was serving me in absolutely no way at all.

Sometime between my last hoorah and now, they added two new Refuge Recovery meetings per week in my area. I got online today and saw one was at noon. So, I told the kids, I am going to hit this meeting. I am supposed to go to this meeting. And, off I went.

I walked in and nearly got a little teary. I removed my shoes, walked over to the circle of cushions, and criss-cross-applesauce, onto the floor I went. Without sounding too ethereal, I was “home” - 100%. Every tension and feeling of inadequacy and past mistakes, and static left my head and I was PRESENT. I have never really meditated but I have always wanted to. The meeting begins with a meditation and it opened my heart - to me, if that makes any sense. For the first time, in forever, I felt really good and really happy.

Now, I have always been kind of a hippy/bohemian spirit, a wanderer, a seeker. This is my path and I am ecstatic.

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2 words, hell yes.

Find that path and wear it out!

Glad youre back and getting after it.

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Well that is exciting! I am so happy for you!

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I love this post and that shirt even more.

Good on you, @EarnIt! Very excited you have found your pack. :wolf:

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I bet that felt so good!! I’m really happy for you Jené :hugs:

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This is awesome!

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This is, indeed, most excellent
:ok_hand::grinning::+1:

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I love hearing about all the different options. Glad you found your “home”. You fell down a few times but yet you got back up and kept fighting. You’re trying new things, knowing what you did in the past hasn’t worked, shows true dedication to your recovery. Keep up the hard work, it’s paying off.

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So glad to hear you went and even more glad that you felt at “home”! Wonderful news. Love the shirt too!

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I love reading this. Finding ones tribe is a magical experience. Any path to recovery is a great one, as long as it works. It’s great that you kept looking until you found the place where you feel comfortable and can be open. I’m so happy for you!

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I had the same experience. I already knew I was doing this Buddhist thing, but this just felt right. I’ve been sober for 10 months. Longest time I’ve ever had. So, for me, it’s working as it should.

I’m glad you enjoyed it. I hope you continue to apply everything you learn.

Jené, I’m just catching up. I love this so much and so glad you found somewhere that feels like home. Something else that might be of interest to you: I sit with a Buddhist Sangha near me, it is in the Plum Village tradition (Thich Nhat Hanh). It is not specifically recovery related, but about half of the attendees at mine are familiar to me from the recovery community. I find a lot of peace there and it dovetails nicely with my specific recovery program. You can look up if there is something near here: https://plumvillage.org/about/international-sangha-directory/

:bird:

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Two of the three in-person meetings are at meditation centers. The only Plum Village tradition that I see in Omaha is held during the Monday night meeting. I am sure these super cool, spiritual people can lead me in the right direction.

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