I’m really struggling with the fact it’s Friday night and I can’t be a normie and just have casual drinks with my mates. I’m just going to say why I can’t drink to remind myself why I’m doing this!
I don’t know when to stop and have no control over stopping once I start. I could lose my life partner. I could lose my job. I could lose my home. I could lose people I love. I could lose my license. I could lose my car. I could hurt somebody. I could kill somebody. I could kill myself. I could lose my dog and cat. I could lose myself.
You have to accept, that this is your reality. You are a normie in your life.
Try to find other activities that you like, make plans in advance, reach out here and go to bed early if you have cravings. You won’t regret staying sober.
I too struggled with this. To be excluded from my friends and atmosphere of commeradery without social lubricants. And the same with listing the reasons it would be bad. But also i needed to make a list of things about it that were good. I could be a dd, i can be the voice of reson or shelter in the storm for someone else sick. The book also says we cant sheildnourseves from temptations forever. When we are spiritually fit we can do all kinds of things alchoholics arent supposed to do giveb we have the proper reason for being there. Going to a bar because i miss the life not so good. Going because my buddy is celebrating his birthday would be okay to go but doesnt mean i have to drink. Hope this helps. Stay strong my friend.
It is dam hard when alcohol is socially acceptable but it is a drug none the less.
Accepting that you don’t need alcohol in your life will get easier if you work at it.
You are at a brillant stage where you have identified you have issues before its ruined work, partner, finances etc
So use this to your advantage find things to do on a friday night that do not require alcohol as the main key.
So you’ve not gone out… Ill put that money a side, challenge yourself in how much you save from those nights out or the wine from the shop.
Do something with your saturday, biking, hiking that if you were drinking would spoil you from the action!
Find you the person who has decided alcohol is not needed in my life to have a good time.
A Friday is just another day. Sounds like u are doing a great job playing the tape forward about what u DON’T want. How about some positive thinking about what u DO want? What sober fun can u have tonight? How about making plans a not hungover u can do tomorrow?
Be really proud of yourself for realizing all that you do. All that you really and truly could lose. As far as feeling left out this will get better until it just will become a non issue.
Stay strong, stay sober. Feel good about it.
I love getting to 9 o’clock on a Friday evening and still being sober. Ordinarily I would be out of the game, either asleep or ready to sleep. All that I’d have to look forward to would be the hangover, the anxiety and the frustration.
Now, when I get to 9 o’clock I can still function. I can watch a movie with my wife (and remember it the next day). I can collect my kids if they need a lift somewhere. I can read. I can go for a walk. I can do absolutely anything that I want to do because I’m not incapacitated by alcohol.
And let’s face it, the first 20/30 minutes are ok, but after that we feel poisoned and are just trying to get that initial buzz back - but not quite managing it and feeling lousy.
I used to miss drinking on a Friday night, but I honestly don’t anymore.
@Misokatsu makes such a good point — it’s important to recognize what horrors we will avoid by staying sober, but it’s equally important to recognize and celebrate what fulfillment, satisfaction and joy we will experience! the pride of waking up knowing that last night you made the greatest choice for your life, the security of being able to remember everything you did and said, the relief knowing that you honored your truth and not the manipulative coercion whispered —or even shouted! — by that monkey on your back. the strength and empowerment you feel knowing that you are the trusted authority of your mind and your actions. the freedom you feel knowing that you are not a slave or servant to a toxic cycle. the list goes on and on!!
