I’ve never used an app / group / forum before…so I’m hoping that by doing so I can make a real change.
I’ve been addicted to cocaine for 4 years now. Every time I say it’s the last time and it’s not. I’ll set artificial future dates. When my wife is pregnant became when my child is born now my beautiful daughter is 6 weeks today and I’ve used 3 times since her birth. (Better than the daily use I was doing, but not proud of it)
She deserves better and my wife deserves better.
I started my timer over after my last relapse last night. I know what my triggers are. It’s stress, I use as an escape but it only makes it worse. I have a ton of work and deadlines but I HAVE to find a better way to deal.
It feels strange to even type this and admit I’m an addict but I need change and I need to do better.
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I just recently joined, and just recently quit the same outlet. Trying… I mean. But keep remembering you’re doing better than you were. Give yourself small goals and aim for those. Those small goals will add up to big progress and they are more reasonable and fulfilling then overwhelming yourself with the long road ahead.
It’s a cliché for a reason - one day at a time.
Also congrats on your baby 
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Thank you. And thank you for replying, it’s nice knowing that people can relate. This last time I was even telling myself while going to get it “what are you doing” yet I still did.
My biggest setback is if I see a particular friend I never have the strength to say no to one bump…then I leave and the high is gone…and I immediately go to purchase.
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Unfortunately, that’s exactly how I am. Also unfortunately I have a lot of friends like that. I know it’s obviously beyond tough but I think the best thing you should do that would benefit your friendship/self and your recovery is to have an open, sober, communication with that person. And trust me, I understand that’s you have certain friends for certain things and that may be tough to be open about something so personal but I believe it would only strengthen that bond and form a respect for both of you and set boundaries.
Thank you.
Our entire friendship has devolved to essentially our addiction. So I may try that before I may just need the separation as hard as that may be.
Also, I’m rooting for you and praying for you as well on your sobriety. We can do it!
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Finding others like @WhoAmI that are on similar paths is very helpful. Stick together, be accountable to one another. I wish you both well. Welcome 
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Maybe separation is key for awhile and if the person asks about the distance I would be open and honest.
Of course easier said than done and I’m giving you advice when I’m clearly not even listening to myself. But I was forced to quit for a couple days bc they wouldn’t let me get surgery (got it today, thank god) bc of my cocaine use. It was then in that week I realized that I craved It every single day. I had to sit back and realize how much I was actually using. I’m a bartender so all I see are alcohol and drugs and when I drink, I want blow, I NEED blow and my customers give it to me for free. How do you say no to that. Even when I tell them no they put it in my pocket. It’s difficult. But I’m hoping with this time off from my knee surgery I can put myself and my body first and not the drug.
That was very kind, thank you.
Glad surgery went well and hope recovery goes well also. I get it, feels like we are in the same boat as far as just starting here and not listening to our own advice.
Keep me posted and feel free to hmu for accountability. I know I need it.
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