I had 5 days without drinking and folded today after work. As soon as I took my shot I felt like shit. Not like stomach but emotionally. I’m very disappointed i couldn’t stop myself. I sat in the truck for a few minutes and decided to cave. I guess I start tomorrow again for real this time… I know I can because the guilt I feel. I’m not even enjoying the small buzz I have. That’s all. Had to tell someone. I’m ashamed
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I am sorry that you caved. Do you know what led you to this moment - where you felt like you needed that shot? You said you sat in your truck — so you drove yourself to the bar and waited but then went in?
Our addiction is so cunning. It really will try to exaggerate our cravings and make em feel like life or death. You just have to get past those and believe me they do pass.
Grateful you are starting again tomorrow. Shame has no place in recovery as it only keeps us from fully committing. The guilt eats away at us and that is not healthy. Do remember how crappy you felt with that shot - Keep those feelings alive in your mind for the next time you get a craving.
Join us on the check in thread tomorrow - you can gain some great support there and it would be good to keep you on track! Grateful you did not let this shot take you down the spiral of addiction. One moment at a time. 
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A hard day at work. It being Friday. Me telling myself you made it 5 days. One won’t hurt. All my work buddies going somewhere to have drinks. I went somewhere alone. As if I already knew how I’d feel. Thanks for the tips. The shame won’t consume me it’s just trying to
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That sucks. Never stop quiting but!
Forum rules say in general not to post under the influence, though they still allow anyone to read. Its a public forum. So read away..
Just because you picked up a drink doesnt mean you cant work on your sobriety even while drinking. Sounds weird. Probably not ideal. But if you really want it then stop making excuses.
I was drunk many times lurking and reading posts here from others. It wasn’t nice for me. But i needed it. It made me feel like shit, a little jealous of seeing certain people’s names pop up for a daily check in with their daily number steadily growing that I would have been on the same number or just below or infront if I didn’t reset. Seeing check ins of peoples lives slowly getting better and awesome while I was reading from and endless perspective of day 0.
Listen to podcasts about sobriety.
Write down and journal some more. Drunk or sober.
Go to an AA Meeting. Get numbers and call someone when you have cravings.
Check in here more often. Find people in the check in threads with large sobriety time, check their profile for old posts and read their story. No one got it right the first time otherwise we wouldn’t be here. This place wouldn’t exist if it was as easy as just saying no.
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Oh I didn’t realize there were rules. Makes sense though. I appreciate the tips. I felt like this was the only place I could be open about it without judgement and get positive advice not just “it’s just one “ etc. so I appreciate you sharing your story. I will be better ! Thank you
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oh please, forum rules are pinned globally for everybody logging in the first time.
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I’m sorry you caved. I’m not going to bullshit you with any “relapse is part of the process” platitudes, but I can say that most of us have been there. Take some time to reflect on WHY you chose to drink, HOW you can recognize it coming in the future (because it will!!) and WHAT you can do instead of having that drink.
YOU CAN DO IT!!
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Ok. Relax lol. I got it
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Many of us, including me, know how it feels to wrestle with the urge and ultimately lose. I’m sorry that’s where you’re at today. Hang in there. The shame will fade as your sober days grow.
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Getting sober is rarely linear. You stumbled. You gained insight for next time. You came back here. This is what the work looks like. Don’t sit in the shame for too long because that is self defeating. Focus on doing better TODAY. 
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Maybe try a meeting meet like minded people who understand were your now get phone numbers lift the phone before you lift a drink good foundation and network get you o0ff that hamster wheel wish you well
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How are you doing today?