I have Complex PTSD and had it since childhood which was what let me to my first high… It is what it is but at the moment I have a servere depression… For that reason my trauma-terapist advised me to let me commit to a psychiatric hospital and get antidepressive. I refused both… One, because I can’t afford to get worse (the meds) and most important of all - I’ve only been clean for 10 months and 13 days. Every fucking day is a milestone for me but I am still NOT able to say no to drugs/medication. Experience tell me that there is a BIG risk both the staff and patients will offer me (the staff doesn’t always understand addiction)… I don’t wanna die, so I don’t want to take any chances… But the thing is that even basic things are hard for me at the moment. I’m desperate to be quite honest… The thing is that I for instance don’t even go to the bathroom before my bladder hurts so much that I can’t take it…
My sponsor has her own things so haven’t been talking with her for weeks.
My younger brother is the only family I have - but he has his own Family he has to take care of…
My boyfriend is in rehab… And so on and on…
In other words. I need advice on what I can do MYSELF to get better. Do you have any experience on this topic? Any advise will be much appreciated. I litteraly don’t know what to do. Everyday just seems to get worse.
I would rewise this. If you are severely depressed, a short stint in a psych ward will not help (unless you are suicidal which you don’t say) as all antidepressants take a few months to kick in properly. Could your psychiatrist or GP/doctor prescribe them for you to take regularly and review with them how they work for you?
If you don’t want to go to a hospital (which I totally get) you need to get to do the work outside. That can mean meds and it means therapy which it sounds you are already doing. How is that going for you? Are you getting down to the origins of your PTSD/depression?
Also the advise already given is good: downsize your daily work load, write a list of that this essential for a day to get done and work on that. Take it as easy as you can without falling off the boat with your chores and daily life things.
Seek connection with others also helps with depression, even though it is very hard.
I don’t have ptsd experience but have a lot of anxiety and depression experience.
Is there a reason you do not want to take anti depressants? The most commonly used ones (ssris) are not narcotic, meaning they don’t make you feel high.
It takes a good few weeks of taking them before you feel any postive effect at all, though the side effects before then can be uncomfortable depending on your dosage. I had a disgusting taste in my mouth for ages, for example.
For me, antidepressants would never lead me to addiction, because they do not have that narcotic element, in the same way ibuprofen doesn’t for pain.
To be clear, the above isn’t true for acute anxiety medicine like benzos, that stuff is narcotic and addictive as any illicit drug.
I’m sorry that you are going through this. Bottom line it’s difficult. I to suffer from PTSD I find grounding myself helps, meditation, a walk, journaling, talking to others…the list goes on. You need to find what works best for you. We go to our Doctors when we have illness whether it be physical or mental looking for help. If you don’t agree with what they recommend ask them if there are other alternatives that you could try. Try not to be harsh on yourself. Praying for you.
I don’t know if you already practice meditation, but there are a few threads on here with links to guided meditations as well as posts to read through.
Also, congratulations on your sober time! It sounds like you’ve got a lot going on. I hope you can give yourself the credit you deserve for making the choice to face each day without . And until you can, we’re here to help you remember that you do deserve it
you might find some helpful stuff.
