Guys I don’t know what to do… I am trying so hard to stop drinking but struggle after a few days. I don’t even like the way it makes me feel honestly, I hate it. My father was a crazy drinker and I swore I would never start because I knew this would happen. I didn’t have my first drink until I was 24 and I’m 32 now and can’t get enough. I even write this with a drink in my hand.
I am an aspiring runner and triathlete, I have completed 7 marathons and a 70.3 mile Ironman race and all the while I haven’t been able to kick this. Every mile I run or bike or swim I cancel out with this, how do I quit… what do I do
Toxic people maybe need to go. That could be it, or is it just me? Am I broken?These drinks change the fabric of my drive. My reason for living, I need these things gone.
Most likely I will have a revelation and feel amazing and kick this for a week, then i will delete this app so I dont feel guilty and simply get smashed again, my wife is incredible and has always had my back, I try to act like I haven’t been drinking but she is smarter than that, without her I would be a shell.
It’s time to change, I need to change
This is a great place to come and figure things out. Look around and read about other’s struggles and get some inspiration, motivation, knowledge, and hope.
I got sober when I was 32. Started by going to rehab, then continued by going to AA on a daily basis for 7 months and still attend at least 3-5 meetings weekly. Now that I’m sober I’ve been able to focus on eating better and exercising. I’m in the best shape I’ve been in for the last 15 years. I don’t say this to brag, but rather to let you know that you can do exactly the same thing if you are willing to follow a few simple suggestions.
Fellow marathon runner here. I’ve been struggling to kick the drink for the past 2 years…haven’t been able to make it more than 3 months sober but more typically I’d only make it a day or two, max. LOTS of slips/relapses, whatever you want to call it. I’ve had the same exact thoughts about being broken and also wondering why the hell I’m so weak…I can run for hours and hours without stopping, training for months on end, seemingly setting PRs at will (being slow to begin with helps…), but why can’t I do this one simple thing!!! This thing that I’ve grown to hate…just not drink. I’m 38 now and have been at the drink fairly heavily and regularly for around 10 years. These past 2 years have been like torture and at times I’ve been left feeling suicidal. I can’t drink anymore…I know that. I hate it and I hate myself (or at least that version of myself) when I’m drinking, but I can’t seem to figure out how the hell to not drink. What in the world to do???
But recently something snapped. Suddenly, and I mean SUDDENLY…like I was hit by lightning…something in my head changed and everything suddenly feels different. In actuality I think this change had been brewing for the past 2 years and it finally clicked. I read This Naked Mind and it’s like the heavens opened up. Sadly, it seems I don’t cry anymore, but I was inwardly crying. I was suddenly hopeful. Optimistic. I cringe writing this because I don’t want to make it sound like it was JUST that book, but I think it was a catalyst that sparked something that I knew all along: It’s not my fault. I’m not a bad or weak person. I’ve been socialized into taking an addictive substance by a culture that celebrates overindulgence. There’s a line in the book towards the beginning…“you’re the hero of this story”…I have no idea why, but something about that line just gave me chills and I suddenly knew it was going to be okay.
I also wonder if there’s something about the endurance athlete’s brain that could make them (us) more susceptible to abusing alcohol. I haven’t read anything about that but I’m curious. It seems like there are quite a few endurance athletes here and I know for myself, I think my training and willpower helped me to mask the issues for far too long (both the drinking itself as well as the underlying emotional issues that I have been running from).
Hang in there, man. I’m now 3 weeks in and it’s hard, I’m not going to lie. But I’m finding that not drinking is the easy part. Unpacking the emotional turmoil that I had buried under the booze is a million times more difficult, but I’m convinced that it is the most important thing I have probably ever done.