I’m at a point where I need to take control of my life instead of just getting high and wasting it away.
I lost my job, surprisingly it wasn’t because of the drugs, but that’s another really long and heart breaking story… Anyway, at the moment my best option is to work as a Freelancer, but it’s going to take dedication and a lot of effort for me to make a success out of it. I no longer have a guaranteed salary at the end of every month, I have to get out there, find jobs and do them well and timeously. That’s not going to happen if I’m still on drugs. Nothing gets done when I’m high because I’m not in control.
So I really need to stop this time… I can’t keep regretting and repeating, because I know I’ll eventually destroy my life if I do. I’ve already lost too much… And I know this and it hurts so much, so why do I keep doing it? Why can’t I get past 2 or 3 days? Why do I choose to get more every time? Why don’t I care?
I don’t want to end up destroying my life, I don’t want to hurt and disappoint people. I need to get through this before it’s too late.
I’m doing it alone because this is my best kept secret but I really really really need to stop this time.
Please help me? ANYTHING would be appreciated - advice, personal experience, inspirational / motivational quotes, scare me, berate me, uplift me or just be a friend…
Remind yourself of everything you have and how if you go back to your cycle of using, it could be lost. Listen to recovery podcasts. Journaling could be very helpful. Just pour it out onto a page. Do your best to practice self-care. Be gentle and kind to yourself. You can do this. Just take it one day at a time. Or even one hour at a time. I hope you can also look into resources for support like recovery meetings. You do care, it sounds like you want to stop, but it’s hard when our addictions have a strong hold on us. Accepting we are powerless is key in turning it around. Best wishes to stay strong
Yet you don’t have to. You shared it with us! That’s a brave step, and I so relate.
No one knew for me either (at least I thought). I wondered why I didn’t care and it scared me. I was done! Until one day I thought, “If I really don’t care, why not try what these sober people are doing and see what happens instead?”
@QuietTurtle nailed the checklist they showed me. The writing it out, seeking support and fellowship from those who’ve been there and doing what they did, and always taking it a day at a time. It works for me. With time life was brought back to full color and a drink was the last thing I wanted!
All the while given only one hard rule: Just don’t drink/use, no matter what.
Every day I manage that, I keep finding tomorrow can be better. And I hope you find that too, @UltraMel.
As someone who had a business and lost it to addiction, the stakes are even higher. Losing a job sucks, but losing clients is even worse because clients talk. I have a business, but it’s taken years and I’m still working my way back.
Sobriety is for those who want it, not for those who need it. I got sober only when I was willing to do whatever it took and put sobriety before everything else. Whatever I put before sobriety, I’ll lose anyway.
When I put conditions on how I wanted to get better – I’ll only do it this way, or under these conditions – I never got better. I had to be willing to look under every rock to find what works.
I never got long term sobriety alone. Some do, but there’s no shame in asking for help. For me, sharing my struggles with those who understand, and listening to their wins and losses got me out of my own head. Several heads were better than one to get me through problems.
Hello,
You have to do it, but you don’t have to do it all alone.
Seek help! Find yourself a group you can join like NA or a online meeting like SMART.
What is helping me tremendously is being here every day to check in sober (my addiction is alcohol).
Use the button above and start reading about your addiction and how to beat it. There’s loads of good info here on this app.
Put in the effort and it pays out eventually.
I may not have alot of advice for you because I’m fairly new to recovery again but I wanted you to know that you’re not alone. I read your post n can relate to it so much. I would always struggle around the 2-3 day mark and could never understand or figure out why, after already losing so much, I kept using. This has been an ongoing battle since I was 16 (so 19 years… ugh). I just really related to what you said. It’s almost as if I wrote it lol I too am sort of doing this alone. I mean people new about my addiction troubles years ago but alot of people believe I’ve been clean for years now. So this group is really my one true place to be honest and open about where I’m at. Hope this group helps you as much as it has helped me. Check in everyday (or throughout the day even) and let us know where ur at I like to do readings in the morning and pray (if ur into that) to start my day off on the right foot. Exercise is great… helps me get those natural good feelings that’s really the only advice I have so far. Wish I could provide more. But like I said I’m new to this again too and I’m still learning what works. Keep coming back tho. Take it one day, one hour, or even one minute at a time.
oh you care, everything else you wrote screams out how much you care. You wouldn’t even think you had a problem if that was the case.
Your not alone now either, talk to people on here anytime. We all have to hit our own rock bottoms, it might not even be yours yet but one day you’ll know that enough is enough, one day you might think about things differently and realised you had the strength all the time when you really need it.
I’ve lost count of the amount of day one’s and two’s I’ve had but as long as you keep having day one’s it’s a lot more likely your gonna have a day 4 or 44.
Day 3s were my nemesis but eventually I just knew they were coming the pain and emotion were no longer a surprise, you’ve learnt and grown strong enough to see that one day to an end…
Then we do it again…
button above and start reading about your addiction and how to beat it. There’s loads of good info here on this app.
I like to do readings in the morning and pray (if ur into that) to start my day off on the right foot. Exercise is great… helps me get those natural good feelings 