I cut myself tonight after 5 clean days… Feel like a disappointment because I told myself I was going to stop… I’ve actually been cutting for 3 years but recently found this app through a friend that uses it… I really don’t know what to do anymore… My friends are all tearing each other apart and I can’t even talk to my boyfriend anymore…
It’s alright… I’m 8 days clean been self harming 15 years… I know it’s a struggle…tbh I’m struggling really hard right now but just keep trying you’ll get there one day I believe in you
All I have are more questions, but as long as you’re “OK” and not needing medical attention from the cut itself; it’s just a setback. It’s OK to be disappointed in yourself, but you’re not a disappointment, if that makes sense. You’re always given a second chance; it’s called tomorrow. You slipped up; that happens with addiction. The important thing is you recognize the harm and continue to move forward.
I’m not a cutter, so I can’t pretend to know what that’s like. But I can tell you you’re not alone. If you need someone to talk to, there are plenty of people here that will listen and can offer advice. Just keep your head up and start again. From the wise words of Jacoby Shaddix; F.E.A.R. Face Everything And Rise.
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That right there is the best quote for all of us.
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I am so sorry. I don’t self harm in the way of cutting but I do have a history of taking laxatives that I think might be at least partly considered a self harming addiction. I don’t understand exactly what you are going through but I think I can get a small inkling of it.
You say you are disappointed because you told yourself you were going to stop. Is that all you did? Just say “stop”? If your addiction is anything like mine is with alcohol that isn’t going to be enough. All the nights I would lie awake at 2 am telling myself I was such a loser for drinking too much AGAIN and saying “that’s it, you can’t drink anymore” only to lie awake the next night feeling like a lose ALL OVER AGAIN. What a waste. It wasn’t until I said “you can’t drink anymore and this is what you are going to do in the morning” did things start to turn around. The first thing I did was say “you need to find a way to be accountable”. That was simply finding and downloading this app. It was a HUGE help but even that wasn’t enough. I’ve relapsed a LOT. I then made a 2nd accountability plan by telling my KIDS I was stopping. That worked better…but still relapsed after just over 3 months. This time I have a new accountability PLUS active steps to improve…I’ve joined AA. Okay, I’m only 2 weeks in so I don’t know how it will work but it’s my current plan.
Everytime we relapse we need to stop and look at what we did that DIDN’T work and make a plan to change that.
Do you have a therapist? Do you belong to a group? Have you told someone in your family about your addiction? What can you do that will make you stronger this time around.
And please, keep posting here. We will support you through this. We care and want to see you be well.
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