I fricking thought i could be strong once i got thru the suboxone side effects but i realized i was still too vulnerable & relapsed hard on Coke & dilaudid & ive been activately using for a week now & still going to school everyday like i wake up feeling shitty as fuck but i fight thru it & feel better once i start getting going like walking & interacting will people but i know i cant keep doing this to my self! Cant i please get some advice cause i cant talk to my family about it or anybody else where i live to im begging for prayers & motivational advice my friends in recovery here! I so ashamed of myself if now!!
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I’m sorry to hear this 
Can you get any in real life help from the people who you were giving you the Suboxone ? To get that medical professional help again as seemed to help you in the beginning.
Try not to beat yourself up about this, if you keep yourself feeling low you will stay in that dark place.
You must think of some positives so your body and mind can feel that positive energy and keep moving forward.
Join us here 
Good you came here and reached out.
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In the reading How it Works, it states “The only way to keep from returning to active addiction is not to take that first drug. If you are like us you know that one is too many and a thousand never enough. We put great emphasis on this, for we know that when we use drugs in any form, or substitute one for another, we release our addiction all over again.”
That is what differentiates me from my wife. She can drink and stop and not have another one for months. But for me, I can’t stop once I start. Sorry in advance if I missed something in a previous post, but were you prescribed suboxone or did you get it from someone else?
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I was prescribed by my doctor but im getting on methadone on the 8th
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Besides the prescription that ran out, are you doing anything else to help enhance your sobriety?
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Naw im straight shooting up everyday now like im jumping back on methadone on the 8th so yeah like i have zero support in my real life. When i relapse my family just goes to straight hating & judging me its fucking ridiculous the way the behave its almost child like like if i didn’t have Christ in my life i would of killed myself along time ago the way I’m treated by my own supposed blood family i honestly cant believe im related to these selfish individuals like im nothing like them whatsoever its fucking crazy!!
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Let me rephrase my question. While you were clean and sober, and not using…were you doing anything at that time to help keep yourself sober. Or were you just using the prescription?
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Just using the prescription but going to school but it gave me brain fog so i couldn’t think properly while trying to work like i caught a few AA meetings but it was all alcoholics & not my crowd like drug addicts so i didn’t like it
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Methadone? I was offered that at first but refused when they said I would have to detox from that too. Getting clean was hard enough but doing it twice was out of the question especially when I would have to make a daily trip to a methadone clinic for my daily dose. I was able to go “cold turkey” and though the first 2 weeks were super tough I’m glad I went that route.
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I get that. I didnt like AA either. However, I did it for 4 years and it kept me sober. What you were doing didnt work…maybe it’s time to add something…like NA. SMART, recovery Dharma?
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For me, I had to work a recovery program to change myself from the inside out. That had to become my priority as I’m going to lose eveything else I put before my recovery anyway when I go back out. I figured with as much time, energy and effort I spent on using, it was my own BS excuses that told me I “didn’t have time” for recovery. Matter of fact, I was about out of time here on earth if I kept going the way that I was. Working a recovery program saved my life and actually allowed to have MORE time here. Quality time too, not just suffering through life & all effed up anymore. I hope you find what you need my friend, I’m praying for you.
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Im better & thanks for asking!
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Good to hear! So what does your sobriety path look like going forward?
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How are you today?
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Im better now, its been 23 days since ive been on methadone now & things are going ok like ive got my sobriety back thank God!
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