I relapsed this weekend

I had to restart my timer on Sunday. Couldn’t bring myself to post until today; 2 days sober now, and figuring out my triggers. I had terrifying dreams of my childhood last night and I realized that they are a main reason that I drink: I don’t dream when I’m drunk or hungover. It’s that second night without a drink that gets me. I think, subconsciously, I justify my drinking by saying that it makes me happier; I don’t have to face the demons of my childhood and it makes me feel like I don’t have any deeper emotions to deal with. Idk…

Anyway, I’m scared now, because I know that my wife will be out for the night, leaving me alone at home at to my own devices. I feel okay right now, because I’m at work and I know I’ll be productive. I’m afraid of the drive home, because we all know how easy it is to just swing into the store and pick up the poison that masks the pain. Idk. I hope I find the courage to check back in a little later.


Leave your debit/credit cards at work perhaps. …


Have a plan of what your going to do after work. Don’t leave it open. @Oliverjava has some great suggestions. And do check in here. I don’t know about the rest of the people on here, but I check out updates on here several times a day. Ill be here. You got this! Take back the control!

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