So I started this app a few months ago but stopped, because I started to think, maybe I don’t have a problem, that I can control it. But it was just an excuse to binge drink over the summer. I did good for while but whenever I’m in a group, I give in. Then it’s binge after binge…I sometimes tell myself “you tried but you can’t beat it, just live with it”. I don’t know what to do. I get this hyped excitement and happiness when I want to stay sober but some how, it gets me. It’s pathetic, tbh. Maybe I need more accountability, maybe more involvement in a group or something, idk. I still never told anyone that I have a problem, maybe it’s time? Maybe I get more involved here? I’m lost.
15 Likes
The grand realization. When enough becomes enough. The day I finally signed up here I was at that point. Realized if I was really giving up and didn’t know what to do, maybe I could try full on whatever these sober people were doing. I sure was sure out of ideas.
Well if that’s what you’re after, you could make a point of checking in on this thread every day. I did that for a long while running. Great self-accountability and a way to get to know some other good people here!
And there are recovery programs. Some have shifted a bit given the current situation, but that means they’re also more present online than usual.
9 Likes
The problem with this is you don’t just live with it, you die from it.
You really can do this if you really want it.
15 Likes
Welcome back. It sounds like you are answering your own questions. Maybe you do need more support and more accountability. Have you been to AA meetings? Like some in person support and a sponsor. Alcohol doesn’t “have” to win. It won for a long time in my life. Very long time. But not now. I’m taking this fight for the long haul.
I think you know what you got to do. That first step admitting your powerless and admitting your an alcoholic is the hardest most freeing thing in the world.
Your definitely worth it.
8 Likes
Welcome here! for many of us the point of not knowing anymore and admitting that is a good starting point to be open to other suggestions. for me at least it sound familiair.
Building a routine and healthy habits for accountability helps. first the doc then maybe the rest. progress not perfection.
6 Likes
Your answering your all your own question as you write them:pray:
WELCOME BACK STICK AROUND GET COMFY
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY GIV YASELF A BREAK.
4 Likes
Welcome back. I just came back again yesterday and I feel exactly how you feeling. I’m getting it now that I’ll have to do the work, just having the app isn’t enough - it’s not magic but it’s a great help and will be making full use of it this time around. Wishing you well 
2 Likes
I also had similar periods earlier. I didn’t decide it 100%, I knew the excuses in advance, why will I continue drinking, it was just a “try” and not a “do”. Never worked. I think, it’s harder to stop on the slope than at the bottom. I reached a bottom line, where there wasn’t lower. It was a hard time. At the end, I found myself sitting in the window full drunk, checking if I really want to jump out or not. I didn’t, but still I could accidently fell out. Next day I decided to be sober. I’m at the beginning of this journey, but I feel the difference between wanting it or deciding it. You can do it as well. I know, that it feels scary and it’s unknown but you can do it. You are stronger than you think!
3 Likes
It’s not pathetic, this is how alcohol works. It’s a shifty bastard. But as it found out your human weaknesses and reached you, you can also find out it’s weaknesses and trick it. There are lots of people here who can give you advice, they know the enemy better than anyone.
3 Likes
Realisation. It’s suddenly hits one day. The moment when we realise that we can’t do this on our own.
The realisation that “wow this thing is strong!”
It’s not pathetic mate, we’re addicts. Simple.
You’ve made the decision now.
You need help, just like we all did.
Read around here a lot.
Look up any questions you may have using the magnifying glass.
All the info you need is at your fingertips.
7 Likes
Cav!!! Welcome back! I remember you because I started right after you! Are you ready for a good go this time? What is it that you think you’ll need from us? I hope you stay this time!!
3 Likes
yes! let’s keep ourselves together. 
You’re not alone. I’m not alone here. I keep on checking our forum more often after my last relapse.
3 Likes
@CapriciousCapricorn yes, you are absolutely right. Acceptance is definitely the hardest thing and I need to fully accept I have a problem. Thank you for the encouraging message, I appreciate it
2 Likes
@Dazercat I have not tried AA but never ruled it out. My situation is a tad complicated…but I am definitely looking at all options. Thank you so much for your kind message
2 Likes
@Maria yes, definitely working on a healthy routine and going good so far. Thank ya kindly for the response, I appreciate it.
2 Likes
Thank you! I definitely plan on giving this a chance now. I feel more motivation than ever!
2 Likes
@SoberSenze appreciate that, good to be back and yes I feel the same, ready to give this thing a serious go! And thank you, you as well!
2 Likes
@Tomek well I am glad you chose to live and all was super well said, I 100% with everything. I really do appreciate the encouragement!
1 Like