I think my husband is leaving me today

We’ve been married 4 years, together for 7. My drinking has been gradually getting worse. The longest Ive gone without a drink is 14 days over the xmas break. Then I went back to work, anxiety and stress got the best of me and I started again. Ive had several failed attempts since then to stay sober. He should leave me. I would’ve left me months ago if I was him. We have 2 girls together. I am trying to get help, have a psychologist apt tomorrow and counselling monday. I think its all too little too late. He found out I’ve been drinking and hiding it from him. He screamed, said he can’t take it anymore/isnt doing it anymore and left for work. So now I’m drowning my sorrows in a jack and coke. I’m broken. 2 failed suicide attempts before this, I wish he let me die. I am worthless. Im a good mum, and my girls should be enough of reason to quit. But I cant. This fucking disease has hold of me.

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Unfortunately there are times when one must lose everything to change.
Stay focused on getting better and take it one day at a time.
Things will get better if you continue to take ownership of every aspect of your life.

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Dont give up! Your girls are worth every fight, no matter how hard it will get. Take it minute by minute and you will see how strong you are!

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It won’t get better with more Jack and Coke, that’s for sure.

Why are you giving up? He’s angry and hurt, and tired of being angry and hurt. You have kids, who need a Ma.

Sober up. Get help. Go to meetings. Go to rehab. Go to therapy. Decide to be better and then be better. It starts with pouring out the booze you have, eating something, hydrating and getting some sleep. Things may not be better tomorrow, but they won’t be worse, and you will be sober. The first step is to face this sober.

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Commit yourself to counseling and concentrate on what you have to lose. Use that as your reason to stay sober and get the help you need to get and stay there. It isn’t easy. I got counseling and finally stopped. You can do it!

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Facts!!
Sufferforgrowth

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I can’t really give you much advice, all I can say is be honest with him while you still can. Prove to him you can be better and hopefully you can save your marriage. Good luck

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AA has given me a life worth living. Might be something to look into.

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Listen to @Yoda-Stevie…he knows what he’s talking about!!

You can do this.

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Some tough love for you here: When you’re a mom, you don’t get to die. Plain and simple. You brought your kids into this world and they need you around. I know depression and despair and have also wanted to die. But I don’t get to. So I had to find a way to manage my life. I went to a meeting (even though I was scared AF!) and another and another. And I keep going back. And I got a sponsor. And I’m doing whatever it takes to be around for my kid because she’s worth it. Are your kids worth it to you?

Some compassionate love for you: You deserve a full and rich life. You deserve a productive and sane life. You deserve self love and self care. You owe it to yourself to get well. You haven’t been fair to yourself.

Putting down your substance isn’t easy. It’s the hardest thing you may ever do. And you probably can’t do it alone. Where can you go for help? How can you show your husband, your kids, and yourself that you’re willing to go to any lengths?

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Oh my dear, reading your story feels like my own. Please get your husband to attend Al-Anon meeting! It’s the AAA counterpart for the loved ones affected by an alcoholic partner, family member or friend. Plain and simple, it’s saved our marriage.

I have been where you are and it’s not who you are. You are sick my friend, but there is a cure. Your life will get better if you stop drinking. And your relationship will get better and your kids will love you more and more everyday. And you will love yourself again too! This I promise.

It took me 4 years to get one month of sobriety. For 4 years I had a few days or a few weeks here and there, two trips to detox, one month in Rehab only to relapse and end up in detox again. But this month has been amazing and I’m working on the second one. I share this just so you know even in early sobriety, you will see your life change for the better. I can’t wait for everyday now! Instead of waiting for the end.

Al-Anon. Please look into it and go to an AA meeting yourself. And open your mouth and talk! I will say a prayer for you. God bless you!

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This is warrior talk. I like it.

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There are 2 options as I see it. First is to quit drinking and the second is to keep drinking.

You know what it’s like to take the second choice. I recommend. The first choice.

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I’ve been there 7 years ago…but you have to remind yourself how your beautiful girls will feel just like you someday if you choose to kill yourself be it with booze or other means…same with them seeing you drunk all the time. They know something is wrong with mommy and will figure out what’s going on. If he does leave you WILL lose your kids. Your only choice right now is to stop for good end of story. This too shall pass just remember that always. Nothing lasts forever and it can end badly for you or you can pick yourself up and show your husband you’re sick of being sick and get treatment if you cant do it on your own. Your kids NEED YOU and the longer you go sober the more you will see that and what you’ve been missing. I PROMISE

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I’m with @Yoda-Stevie here. Nothing more to add!
As always I guess I’ll advocate the meetings, but AA is a given. Based on your share you need that fellowship. You’re not alone. Youre not the only one. And you’re not the worst case by far. That’s not to compare you to any one else, that’s to let you know there is hope. Others have done it. Were doing it. So can you!!!

Oh look I added anyways lol!

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Have you confessed to a friend or a family member about your drinking problem, usually that takes away the @load a bit.

My wife told me a few months after i admitted i had a problem and was going to seek help that if she had come home to me drunk 1 more time she was kicking me out. I was the stay at home dad and meant to be looking after our 2 kids thought was only damaging myself. Heres me thinking im a great dad and am here for my kids i was so not here for anyone. My wife would sit at the top of street and the thought of coming home to me would make her physically sick. I am so grateful i finally admitted i needed help and am so grateful to everyone in aa that has helped me through my journey so far. 28 months and have changed my life completely. Am no longer that mess of a alcoholic husband and dad that sits in the backyard and does nothing with my family.
We do so much together now. But i needed to do it for me. 10 years of trying to stop, cut down, drink stuff i hated drinking just all to be my next favourite drink. I couldn’t stop by myself i proved that over and over again. I hope you are able to get it. I had to change everything i did and did the opposite of everything my head was telling me to do. I still do that most days now. But it gets easier. I hope you get it.
I practically lived in aa for the first 12 months. I knew if i was there i wasnt drinking and that was good for me.

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I’ve been there too. I asked for divorce because the two of us were alcoholics… Then it was hell for me. Drank a lot more and abused drugs. Even with my toddler around… Wanted to jump off the 12th floor… I’ve been struggling with addictions and depression for almost all my life…
I know it seems easier to fall and drink… But you deserve to love yourself. For your kids. For your husband. For yourself.
I’m not telling you it’s gonna be easy… But there’s a whole new life ahead with sobriety…
Remember you’re not alone…
Sending you good vibes.
Be proud of who you are. You’ve already came through a lot… You’re a fighter. Find the power… And it will lead your way.

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Don’t give up at yourself and your family like you are doing now. Keep on drinking only makes it worse. Go to rehab. Fight for your girls, your husband and you! You are worth it girl! :heart:

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I’ve been where you are. You’re exhausted. You want to stop but you can’t. You’re afraid your partner will leave and they’ve said as much. No one can get you to stop, you have to want it for yourself.

Look up AA meetings in your area. Hopefully there is one today. Some are child friendly. Go there. It’s okay to be scared. This is a big change, but one that has to be done.

Your husband loves you. It’s terrifying for them to see us like that. Show him with the actions you take today that you’re trying something different.

You don’t need to do this alone anymore. You have us. You can have the support of people just like us in AA (other programs are available, this is just what I did).

If things feel hopeless, get your plan together. Today you start by pouring away the alcohol and finding an AA meeting. Don’t worry about turning up drunk, some do at first. Then they get well. Be one of those.

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