Hello.
I recently came to the realization that alcohol was the enemy. I wasn’t partying everyday, or having trouble with the law but alcohol has affected my life in a negative way. My 5 year relationship just ended because I had become physically violent throughout my relationship while drinking. I’m ashamed of my actions and sad that I’ve hurt someone I love. I decided to finally get my life under control and release everything that wasn’t serving me. I’m looking for support from others who have been the ones to cause harm within relationships. I feel very alone….
26 Likes
Where do I even start?
When I started making the list of the people I’ve wronged, I broke it up into categories.
- people I disappointed (teachers, mentors, etc)
- people I betrayed (friends, family)
- people I directly affected (abused, took advantage of, more betrayal, etc)
It hurt. It was so hard to make that list, and harder to come to terms that I needed to make restitution. For a lot of these people I made peace with the fact that I couldn’t face them again, and left a note on their doorstep and ran away forever. Not always an option for the people who matter most…
You are 100% understood by your family here. We’ve done things we regret and hurt people we love. We get you and we love you and support you.
You’re not who you were. You don’t have to live with that guilt and shake anymore. You deserve to live a life free of addiction AND free of all the things that went with that past you.
You can forgive yourself because you’re making the steps to become a better you.
We love you, Andrea. You’ve got this : )
17 Likes
I’m sobbing. Thank you for this!
6 Likes
With our disease comes the shit we do. I shared at a meeting last night about this and how my first sponsor was so understanding about the harm I had caused. Made it easier to find a way to forgive myself, I can’t take that shit back. No do overs on the past you know.
People do mean, hateful, awful shit when they drink or get high
But, if we don’t forgive ourselves and try to every day not to be that person we were, we never get to show our true beautiful selves.
And that is recovery and it feels wonderful.
So, when you’re ready to let yourself off the hook, reach out, grab a lady who will work with you and find happiness. You are worth it, always!
So glad you’re here!
14 Likes
I’m so glad you are here with us. You and this advice and the other wise folks are exactly why I come here everyday. We are blessed to have each other 
4 Likes
Thank you!
1 Like
Even the fact that you have the humility to admit to everything you wrote shows a lot of progress and personal responsibility.
5 Likes
Welcome to this community. You are not alone! What are you going to do to support your sobriety? The opposite of addiction is connection. Lots of wonderful sober people out there.
2 Likes
Glad you’re here! We’re right here with you. 
2 Likes
You are most certainly not alone. My long term relationship ended last year due to the same reason. it’s still tough, but I realized I need to use the guilt I currently have as motivation to never drink again, and to improve myself. The important thing to remember is you aren’t the same person you were then. Thank you for sharing 
6 Likes
Hey, find a support group
I ruined my ex partners life for the last 2-3 years with mental abuse I drank nearly every day and she had to go buy it most of the time I argued when she did and when she didn’t. She did not deserve it
I have lost my kids since January because of my behaviour at last I got detox waited 13 weeks now I’m so glad I’m sober 58 days it’s a miracle I’m still here. It’s very hard to not be depressed but this app helps me at times I read others going through the same troubles.
I hope we all stay sober and rebuild our lives I just want to say sorry and see my boys 
4 Likes
Outstanding on your 58 healthy days! We get to show and prove to our loved ones daily going forward. Living amends mean a helluva lot more than any I’m sorry. They get to see and feel the love.
3 Likes