It’s upsetting… and frustrating…
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same, every morning i saw i won’t smoke weed, end up smoking it, or i keep remember to amoke weed, you’re not alone in this fight
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what makes you go stoned and drinking? i end up smoking cause of anxiety and failure about my life
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Benedictine is right, force yourself to break thru your old habits. Start something new! Anything you may like or try something completely new. I cook when I come home, then play some games or write a journal, read, getting better in English. I promised to myself to put Money in a Jar if i fall back to my old routine. Til now this helps 
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You was sober for 2 years, so you can do it and you can do it again! Make new healthier habits. You are here so you want to change, that’s good! I was sober for 5 years, then started to drink again. In the beginning I could handle it, but at the end I was not it control at all. Now I’m sober again for 1 month. What helped me is reading here and checking in every day. I don’t buy alcohol. The people around me know I do not drink. I have a day counter on my sportwatch and my phone.
You can do it!!
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What brings you true joy and happiness in life?
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I’m like that. I can run around all day, running a resturant, and come home get drunk and do it all over again the next day. Or at least I use to. I’m 18 days sober now. But I have a ton of energy. And its really hard for me to relax or unwind. Practically next to impossible. I use to drink to forget my problems and anxiety but that’s not actually solving the problem. And then I over Think every little thing. From money to my boyfriend, to the future, to school. It’s exhausting. Sometimes I just want to relax and take a breath but I never really feel like I can.
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What kind of music??? I studied classical opera and minored in jazz 