Almost 24 hours and I want to scream. All I want is the relief I know is soooo easily available. My boyfriend says it doesn’t impact his lifestyle so it’s not fair if he can’t smoke. Has anyone else dealt with a partner wanting to stay in addiction? What do you do? Is it loss to stay together? It’s THC so not the biggest deal but I feel unsupported. It would be so easy to get rid of this uncomfortable knot in my tummy. I would feel better in a few breaths. It feels so unfair and I want the dopamine hit and I wish I could just enjoy things moderately. AGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Scream! I usually do it in the car! Feels sooo good. well done for coming here and for being so close to 24 hours!! You got this!! Keep coming here if you feel the desire to use your DOC.
I clearly remember feeling like that. You describe it so vividly
I don’t know about the partner. I was the pothead partner married to the drug free partner. Didn’t end well. I can’t give advice on that. But I know for sure that if I got weed or hash at home I will smoke it. Even now, years after. I never could store any of it without smoking it (and i was gardening plants…).
Your partner should respect your decision and smoke anywhere but in front of you, or store the THC anywhere you may know.
These feelings will vanish. It takes times. All your emotions that you used to deal with thc…well you gotta deal with them by yourself now. It can be overwhelming. But it’s how it’s supposed to be you know. The sweats, shitty nights, anger, fear…it will fade away. It’s worth it.
I wish you strength
Yes, there are plenty of us who have partners in active addiction! And it sucks. Here’s a link where you can vent all you want and feel supported by those of us in similar circumstances. You are not alone. Hang in there!
Definitely go and scream somewhere. You’ll feel a lot better! If there are no kids and marriage involved then your choice is a little easier. Your well being for your future self is at stake here. If he doesn’t love you enough to at least acknowledge your feelings in that way and try it out, then you’re going to have to make some choices. Pray about it! Pray pray pray girl. Be strong
Let it out! Have that scream!
It matters not if others still partake. What matters is what it means to you.
Playing the tape through, will you really feel better? For how long?
It never ended with one for me. But not picking up, there was a chance things would all pass and in the next moment I would be fine and ready to go again.
It’s helpful if he can understand how you feel. That it’s just not for you anymore, whatever he may do.
More important is only that you do, if that is your truth.
Definitely agree with the others…go scream somewhere. And if you have littles, have them come scream with you, kids love screaming! Seriously, get …it…out! It helps!!!
I hear you and you should be proud of how well you are taking care of yourself by reaching out here and speaking your feelings. . I was in the same position and I did exactly what you are doing. Reaching out to others here and building a community of safety and understanding and support. And yes …. screaming in my car was involved. You’re doing a great job.
I feel this post on a pretty personal level… it’s hard to deal with an unsupportive partner. My thought is you do you. Don’t worry bout them. You’re struggling enough yourself, if they can’t get on board and help you or at least not be part of the problem then maybe it isn’t meant to be, or maybe they need time to consider your feelings on the matter.
I’m struggling with almost the same situation myself it feels I keep loosing a battle I can’t win, but I’m still doing it everyday, alone. It’s been almost a week for me and boy id love that dopamine right about now myself… but I’m taking it one breath at a time to find healthier alternatives… i myself have been painting a lot.
Anyway, I hope this helps you, or someone.
Don’t give up, you can do this!
I used to scream and smash (abandoned) wooden sticks or dead branches in the forest nearby my house back then. For other reasons but anyway…I’ve read that some people are paying a fortune to scream in forests. I think it’s strange. Just go in an freaking isolated forest, and scream. It’s free