I was caught offguard

Mid August I was arrested.

It was the only thing that stopped my binge this time. My longest binge. 5 months of daily use.

I spent ten days in jail. My dad, who i hadnt seen in seven years, since i started living my lifestyle, came and bailed me out.

Ive been with him ever since, being sober, getting healthy again, until…

I went to go do laundry in my building about a week ago.
As i was folding someone walked in. Clearly high, probably gay, and very chatty.
I immediately manipulated the situation so hed offer me whatever he had, which was meth…
I went back to his place, used, partied, and completely let go of our morals and let our vices take over.
I dont remember everytging that happened but i sure as hell know it wasnt anything i would have done sober.
I went home and told dad everything. Messaged my addictions worker, therapist, and ive been isoalting at home ever since.
I thought i was good. I thought i was strong enough to say no, bit im learning thst when im caught off guard im not strong enough in those moments.
How do i trust myself to leave my home again? To go to work or back to school withought being worried of being caught offguard again?
Im scared to leave my house and i dont know what to do.

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Hi,
I can imagine how you feel although my addiction is alcohol and cocaine im 19 days sober and drug free today.

Theres no point looking back and making yourself feel really crap about what happened.

Just lift your head up high and start again :hugs:

Staying with your dad seems like a good option still ?
Especially as he knows what your going through and also you feel able to be truthfull with him which will be beneficial for your recovery and the fact you admitted what happened to him that takes guts and shows your wanting to change and are just struggling.

Dont look back now, look forward and hard as it is to meet new friends and companions when sober it does happen with time.
Some of us realise for our recovery we need to just focus on ourselves.

Someone once said to me
" show me your friends and il show you your future"

Your here now and still want to get better so concentrate on that, what happened you cant change but you can learn a lesson from it and keep moving forward.
You are strong enough and you can do this hopefully your relapse helps you to control the next temptation.

I do hope your ok and start to feel better.

This app has a lovely community and your part of it :slightly_smiling_face:

Hope to see you stick around and remember your only human the same as the rest of us and we all make mistakes, its what humans do x
Talk with others here and keep posting and im sure your read something that is positive to your recovery as well as someone benefiting from your story x its how lives are saved x

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Hi. I am in recovery from meth as well and I have almost 20 months sober in a few days. Like they say in AA and NA we are POWERLESS over our addiction. It sounds like you could tell that person was under the influence of drugs / your DOC (drug of choice) and your addiction took over, got in the front seat and drove. Good news is is there is recovery and addiction can be arrested once we STOP using and you then have the choice to NEVER pick up again once you are sober when in active addiction you don’t have that choice. I can tell you for me personally I had to make a lot of changes to stay clean as long as I have. I moved, got off social media, went to treatment, I go to NA, I have a relationship with a Higher Power (God of my understanding). I think it would be beneficial to you and your recovery if you got some sort of recovery network around you to support you and hold you accountable for when situations like this come up. There’s Narcotics Anonymous, Crystal Meth Anonymous etc. As for leaving the house, in your recovery you will learn when to navigate when it’s best to do things. Like you may stay in doors more because you’re not getting high with others anymore and you want to feel safe in your sobriety but once you gain more tools and confidence within yourself you will venture out more.

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20month wow that gives me hope keep it up inspiration :heart:

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Trust me, if I was able to get clean and maintain it for this long… ANYONE can

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Your doing amazing stories like this is what drives other people

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Yes 20 months is amazing well done :hugs:.
I had to make lots of changes too, almost everything i could change i did, redecorated, friends routines etc… it does work if you stick it.
Congratulations for 20 months.

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So true! Thank you :blush:

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Thank you. How long clean do you have?

This is my second day heads abit battered today

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Congratulations on day 2!

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Thank you struggling abit today keep thinking Al just av a couple then quit tomorrow staying strong tho

That is your addiction talking to you. Maybe try out some online zoom AA or NA meetings. You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to, just listen and relax. They have helped me a lot.

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I know it’s just a battle in my head at moment I need to stay strong

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Mind of an addict/alcoholic scary place to be, you dont want to be there alone.:pray: reach out when your tempted or feeling on edge

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People’s words are getting my through this it helps to not feel alone thank you brother

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United we stand, divided we fall.:handshake:

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The support here is amazing