I was sober for a while. I stepped off the wagon and am back at it same as before. I dont drink in public anymore, but i do put them down at home. I can NEVER have just a beer. It’s always off to the races after only 1. I need to find the motivation to keep me sober. I’ve been drinking for 20 years and honestly it hasnt fucked my life up all that much. Never lost a job, never got a dwi, never beat anyone, never any of the bad shit. I am a wild man tho. I end up blacking out and drunk calling people with no recollection of what i said. That SUCKS. I’d like to hear from others who have went through something similiar. Thanks everyone.
3 Likes
Hi. I used to do that too. I’d drink at home then get into fights with my husband when I wanted more and he didn’t want me to drive. I’d go out and do it anyway. I’m lucky I didn’t hurt someone or myself. I’d break things in the house- windows, chairs, doors. I’d angrily call or text people and then have no recollection of it the next morning. It got to the point that I was self harming. The last time I did it he called my parents. They came over and I was coherent enough to remember them being there and how worried and upset they were. It was a wake up call for me. Not only was I hurting myself but all of those around me and I didn’t want to do it anymore. It’s good you came here. There is a lot of support here.
3 Likes
Hi, I was at just over 4 months, same as you, before falling off the wagon HARD, and staying off for quite a while.
But, I’m back and at just over one month now, so I’m pretty happy about that. I never had any of the things that you mentioned either, and I suppose that one of the good things about not having friends is that there wasn’t anyone that I could have drunk-texted/called even if I had wanted to ! 
Still, there’s no doubt that drinking (and/or drugs, etc, pending on your DoC) bring nothing but problems - physical and mental - into our lives.
As I often quote from this book by Alan Carr, doing without alcohol isn’t DEPRIVING myself of anything, but rather FREEING myself from the talons of an industry that has spread destruction and misery and illness for millennia.
4 Likes
I can also relate to these comments. I was 4 1/2 months sober earlier this year and relapsed, HARD. My therapist and I call it the “cooler relapse.” Why? I found a whole cooler full of alcohol in our shed (this was from 7 months prior to my beginning sobriety after a family reunion that never got cleaned out.) Damn near drank every bit before spouse dumped it all out. Took a while for me to get back to reality and began my sobriety all over again. I was so mad at myself for screwing up the months clean I worked so hard to achieve. Well, I’m now on day 59 and all be damned if I have to reset this counter once again! I abhor what it had done to me, my spouse, and my relationship with my family. Nothing good has ever come from alcohol and it never will. Reality check is that I’m so much more happier than ever before. The change in not only my relationship with my spouse but also myself was a complete eye opener. I was an alcoholic for over 30 years and it took too long to come to the realization to what a fool I was. I’ve wasted too much time and lost so many memories I can never get back. I hated that woman and I never will let her back into my life. Phew, sorry this was so long. I can only wish you my very best and pray you will find the peace that is now in my life. God speed.
3 Likes
I can’t have 1 beer also. I didn’t have any major upheaval but I know it wasn’t doing me or my life any good. It’s so much better without it!
1 Like
I managed not to get any dwi’s during my drinking career. I never had any problems with the law. I had a few angry drunks but not many. That’s what kept me drinking as long as I did. I was always comparing. I’m not as bad as this one or that one. I’ve never done this or that. I decided that I didn’t want to wait until I did before I got sober. I knew in my heart that the life I was living was only going to lead me to a grave, a hospital, or a jail cell. It wasn’t easy but I finally got sober. Lots of slips and relapses but I never gave up. I now have 1 year and 4 months sober. It’s changed my life forever. Everyone is different. You have to know in your heart when you’re ready.
2 Likes