# I went kinda low yesterday and tried to ask for help
**URL:** https://talkingsober.com/t/i-went-kinda-low-yesterday-and-tried-to-ask-for-help/210623
**Category:** Life in Recovery
**Tags:** relationships
**Created:** [September 25, 2026, 8:51pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/i-went-kinda-low-yesterday-and-tried-to-ask-for-help/210623 "2026-09-25T20:51:49Z")
**Posts on this page:** 2
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Heiler1990](https://talkingsober.com/u/Heiler1990)
#### Post date: [September 25, 2026, 8:51pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/i-went-kinda-low-yesterday-and-tried-to-ask-for-help/210623/1 "2026-09-25T20:51:50Z")
I should of known better but I didn’t and not only that I got blamed for what I had to do to make myself feel ok enough so I’m able to take care of my family properly
Let me explain I called my father in law for help because my husband really wasn’t listening to reason from me but thing is I guess I was wrong for that but I had to try I called him yesterday telling him that his son relapsed and started smoking weed again after two solid years of sobriety and i needed help talking to him to get him to realize that this isn’t him and he’s way better then that
But apparently that wasn’t the greatest decision because I called back to check up on them and then little did I realized my father in law said hay say hi to your mother in law so I did and then I started talking to them both it was going ok for a second but then my mother in law spoke up and said how wrong I was for smoking weed and getting my medical marijuana card around some one that I new for effect that has an issue with that kinda stuff and then expecting him not to snap eventually telling me that I should get into some type of counseling things like that
And also mind you they both agreed on everything they said including on how maybe one of my husbands medication isn’t working that well enough and he’s having anxiety at work and I need to be understanding that and Maybe he needs to go see his doctor. And maybe start on CBD to help him relax but be watched by an actual professional doctor not his wife and things
And honestly I kinda was a bit hurt for getting blamed for something that wasn’t my fault or my choice it was on him and only him I can not be blamed for a grown ass mans decision but I was
And also the F up thing about it all is I called to talk to him mean while my mother in law listened in and then when she did she had time to talk to my father in law and to convince him to say all of those things to me the next day
And the funny thing is at the time it didn’t really bother me but knowing me i can’t let go of a conversation I replay it kinda over and over in my head and i can not help but feel a little bit that I am to blame it really sucks but it’s the truth so that’s kinda why im writing on here to see and hear what you guys think do you guys think in some way im the one to blame for his actions and the one to blame for not really helping him into what he really wanted to do should i keep trying to help when obviously my help isnt enough or wanted well at least it feels like that or is it not I really don’t know what do you guys think
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### Author:  [@erntedank](https://talkingsober.com/u/erntedank)
#### Post date: [September 26, 2026, 8:14am UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/i-went-kinda-low-yesterday-and-tried-to-ask-for-help/210623/2 "2026-09-26T08:14:45Z")
Sorry your inlaws are of no help and denying responsibilities.
You do you, you are not responsible for others, their actions, their handling of things, what they do or not do. you do you, basta!
as i read many of your posts, in my opinion this relationship is toxic. this man is toxic. i’mnot in the place to give advise. All i can say is that blowing up my own toxic marriage and working my ass off to change my codependent patterns and thinking was the best thing i ever did and will ever do in my life.
sending comfort and ease, you are in a rough spot 🫂