Is it wrong to say “Hi I’m Ness I’m an alcoholic and addict” or should you only say “Hi I’m Ness I’m an alcoholic”? Your advice and thoughts are appreciated!
You say what you’re comfortable with. If it’s an AA meeting they do usually ask that you keep it to alcohol and alcoholism when sharing, but I’ve never hearr them get bent over someone saying they’re both.
Many in are there have dual addictions.
2 Likes
The girl that was sponsoring said I was wrong for saying I’m also an addict. She said I shouldn’t be different from everybody else out of respect. I always keep my topic on alcoholism but identify as both alcoholic and addict
1 Like
Are these closed meetings of AA? She’s not the rule. You dont even have to specify that you’re alcoholic. I’d keep on saying what you’re saying dude. Just keep the sharing to alcohol or alcoholism and you’re good in my eyes.
You also mentioned how she’s not the right fit for you last night. A sponsor’s primary responsibility is to stay sober themselves, not run someone else’s sobriety. Everything she says is but a mere suggestion.
7 Likes
Yeah I was giving her another chance but she keeps down talking me and making me feel like shit. We don’t connect and she doesn’t even have a year sober yet like me. I didn’t know that till later when we talked. She said I wasn’t working the program or following directions even though I was doing everything she asked me to do.
Everyone follows the program differently.
We don’t have to be using to have alcoholic behavior, that’s why it’s an everyday program. Stinkin thinkin has sunk many a ship.
Why did you ask her to be your sponsor?
2 Likes
I live in sothern California and I think we are pretty lax here. Here loads of people say alcoholic/addict. At the same time I know a meth addict that says “alcoholic” out of respect for the program.
im not telling you this way or that. Your choice. I will say the Big Book is full of drug use. The story about Acceptance that we all like to quote (page 415) used to be called “Doctor Drugs and Alcohol”. They changed in years ago to “acceptance is the answer”.
2 Likes
Hi my name’s Derek, I’m an alcoholic and addict. That’s me at every AA meeting save for one (I respect the room). I generally keep my sharing to drinking, but drugs are part of my story and that doesn’t change. Someone doesn’t like it they can call their sponsor. I have never been asked to change anything by anyone in AA. However in NA I have… Go figure.
The reason NA exists is bc in the 50s people still thought of them as separate issues (they aren’t) and AA didn’t know how to handle drugs. These days the line is far more blended, and AA works great for me. I still focus on booze at AA bc I respect the rooms, but everyone knows my story. I’ve actually been able to help people in AA who have family members struggling with heroin. I wouldn’t have that chance unless people know I’m a heroin addict.
7 Likes
I don’t think I have ever heard someone getting sponsored by someone with less time… you want som one with more experience so they can help guide you . So that’s weird I mean I could be wrong but that just doesn’t make sense to me honestly. If I were you I would find someone with more experience then yourself
2 Likes
@Longhorn does your sponsor have a sponsor? Has she worked the steps? Has her sponsor worked the steps? I know there aren’t rules, but a person with less than a year probably isn’t ready to be a sponsor. I know I’m not and have turned people down who have asked me.
1 Like
I didn’t ask her actually she approached me after I shared at a meeting. I was to shy to say no and didn’t want to be mean or rude.
Sounds like you should be sponsoring her lol
3 Likes
I’m sure @Ray_M_C_Laren can chime in here. But time is irrelevant. Step 12 states “having had a spiritual Awakining as a result of these steps we try to carry the message to other alcoholics”.
Meaning you are then capable of sponsoring someone
1 Like
Well it’s not a contract written in blood. Find someone you like. Someone who works the program the way you like it.
3 Likes
… At least you should be if you finished your steps😉
Yeah she has a sponsor and has worked the steps. I just think she thinks she has years under her belt and that she’s better than everyone else
I’ve been keeping my old sponsor up to date with everything he felt she wasn’t best suited for me so for now I’ll work the steps with him till I find another female sponsor I’m comfortable with.
4 Likes
Sounds like a good plan man. Keep trudging, you’re more of an inspiration than you may know.
1 Like
i’ve been at a couple meetings where some old timers made it clear they do not think substances should be mentioned at aa meetings. personally i don’t care. the requirement to be there is a desire to stop drinking. if someone has been in the program for decades and gets so easily bent out of shape about an alcoholic mentioning drugs, well, that’s not the kind of sobriety i want anyhow, so i’d just sit elsewhere or find a new meeting.
i too had troubles with my first sponsor, i ended up finding (rather - my higher power hooked me up with) someone that was a better fit for me and things have been going real smooth since.
best of luck to you friend and keep us updated 
3 Likes
That pesky old HP, always looking out for us fools and drunks.
2 Likes