As you some of you might remember I worked at the grand canyon and had no cell reception for long periods of time. Well I also had a boyfriend that worked their too except we had broken up because of my drinking. Now here’s where the story gets kind of insane. I was very close to his family, my bosses actually. I lived with them for a time. Except things got weird. Then they got down right crazy. As in I fell in love with my 59 year old male boss. My ex boyfriends father. And he claimed to love me. During all of this, I remained sober. Even though I started having an affair with him. I’m not proud of any of this but its the truth. My ex boyfriend started pursuing me again Even though at this point I kept my distance from him. Everyone at my job found out and I ended up in a psych ward under suicide watch. The affair ended and I came back to my original home. I have been relapsing almost every night. And every morning I reset my counter. I can’t stop drinking and I can’t stop feeling guilty and alone. I lost my home and the man I loved all in one go and I just feel broken. What the hell do I do???
Wow I was just thinking about you.
Well it’s gonna start with staying sober. None of the other stuff will work unless you get and stay sober. You sound like you have major codependency issues, things that working with a therapist and learning about how to set up and adhere to boundaries would help.
Good luck to you and hope to see you around more often.
I do have codependency issues, something that I’m trying to break from. I need to find a good therapist as well that’s my next step.
That’s a good start. Meetings would likely help too. Not too many creepers in there.
I need to get my car. It’s in Arizona but I’m in new jersey. Having my independence will definitely help.
Im Glad to see your picking the pieces up. As @anon59060877 always says “you can look at the past but dont stare.” you can not change the past and must move forward to a new beginning as you can only control today. Maybe when searching meetings you can check out a women for sobriety meeting. First you need to detox. Lock urself away if u have to and make sure to hydrate and take a multivitamin and supplements. Once you have detoxed you can start to focus with a clear mind how to move forward with your life. Welcome back!
Damn girl. Just, damn. It’s time to pick yourself up, work on forgiving yourself and everyone else involved, and work on getting that therapist. Clearly the best way to do this is to stay sober! Try to find and IOP that specializes in dual diognosis. It’s time consuming, but you can’t believe how much it will help you! All the issues you are having now will be addressed together and it’s a small group of people dealing with the same shit. Do meetings, do therapy, do EVERYTHING YOU CAN!
You have been missed around here! Use this forum as well as everything else that’s been suggested. Accountability and as much support as you can find will be the foundation of a strong, amazing young woman.
Also, and this is imperative, DO NOT feel ashamed about being in the hospital. It saved your life and was necessary to start healing and moving on on life. I’ve been to the hospital twice, each time was exactly what I needed. It saved MY life. I talk about it openly and people are greatful that I went and got what I needed. So many people feel ashamed. I don’t and neither should you!
Damn girl, so sorry to hear things have taken a turn for the worst. Put down that bottle, get into sweat your therapist and start working on some self love my dear. Loving myself is something major in my recovery I’m working on, it will likely help you too. It’s hard to do but you really deserve it. If there is anything I can do to help, send me a PM! I’m glad you are back love.
I was going to suggest trying a women only meeting to start because of the codependency. I can guarantee you that you’re not going to be the only one there with this same issue. And I second finding a therapist. Therapy is great. I will sing the therapy praises to Anyone who will listen. You are stronger than you feel and you CAN do this.
Well you’re here do that’s a big step in the right direction.
That old fart is a creep that’s all I’m going to say on that score. Let that whole story go and get yourself a psychologist to work out why you sabotage your life. I swear this addictive brain of ours😣
I am planning on getting therapist but I had to leave Arizona in a hurry considering the circumstances. So I’ve been in jersey since Aug 21st and now I’m going to go get my car. I got another job here and have been trying to keep busy. But my depression has been unmanageable lately.
I’m so sorry to hear about how your life turned to the worst. But I’m glad you opened up and fight again. You can do it. Like ppl said before don’t feel guilty for yourself. Absolutely best start is to stay away from alcohol and fight every second if it’s needed. With a clear head you can work on issues. I’m sending you a big hug and positive vibes.