I came back to new jersey in August and I’ve been relapsing ever since. I tried to get a sponsor but we never really saw eye to eye. I’ve definitely had some trust issues the last few months so that might have complicated matters further. I want sobriety, that’s why I’m here but every time I look up, I see a place that isn’t my home. I feel completely disconnected to everyone around me. I want out of this hell. How do I get there? I suppose this goes without saying I’m back to day one. I pray its the last time. I want to be better but I have no idea what the hell I’m doing.
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Maybe try different meetings sometimes it take alil while to fit in. You will see eye to eye with someone and take your journey of sobriety farther. Some meetings are better then others. Some are big and some are just small gatherings in a church for an hr. Linking up with confident sober people will only increase your odds of beating this…just stay sober today as it is the only day u can control.
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Keep going bud.
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Hey, worry to hear about your relapsing. Sounds like you might want to find a whole new group situation? Jersey can be rough…I get it. There’s a lot of negative people meandering about the Garden State. Whereabouts are you in NJ?!
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Don’t forget about other resources, like a doctor for craving meds, a counselor, church if that’s your thing. Meetings helped me with social isolation and awkward, I learned how to have fun and do normal type stuff in the company of sober alcoholics.
For me, feeling at one with the divine intention, feeling I fit and belong, started with daily prayer and journaling. Blessings on your house 
.
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Cherry hill, NJ I want to move out and I got a job offer in Washington state.
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Ahh ok I know that area. I’m up in central north…around Bridgewater. You gonna take the job?!
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Sounds like the move has really unsettled you. Perhaps because of the location or perhaps because of the move itself, or both. Unfortunately there’s not a whole lot to do about either one, it is what it is. Moving again likely will present similar challenges. We carry the problem with us wherever we go. Some circumstances reveal the problem more obviously than others, but it’s there just the same.
What was working before the move that isn’t now?
I’m in agreement with @Donnie_Spiering about trying to find different meetings and/or sponsors, and with @SinceIAwoke about considering all the resources that could help.
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I don’t know exactly. I had a sponsor and I had a lot of love and support from the ones that I love. I feel like I’ve always had trouble connecting to people but I didn’t have that problem in Arizona. I was away from my family, but my family is definitely a trigger for me. I was happier there. It seems hopeless to me now and I barely even feel alive now. I just don’t know.
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Those all sound like potential complications, sponsor situation, family-related stressors, trouble connecting. All of those can make you feel lonely, which can be a hellish place to be. And i can understand it feeling depressing when you try to connect and it doesn’t seem to work. But I encourage you not to give up. Sorry you’re going through this.
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