I'm coming back

Hey guys , I restarted my clock for cigarettes and alcohol this morning everything you can think happens when you take the first shot or beer we want more I said I wasnt going to smoke and guess what I had 1 cigarette last night you guys are amazing this community keeps giving me suppourt and I love you guys because of that. This Divorce this struggle I’m going through I have to be sober and level headed to get through it alcohol and cigarettes won’t help me now Iam awake with the BIGGEST REGRET AND HANGOVER I’ve ever had in a minute I feel like shit to be completely honest. I can’t look back now and Iam not going to start drowning myself in my failures I’m going to get up from this I will be coming in like clockwork checking in and doing everything I absolutely have to to get back on track hope you guys aren’t mad at me ? Or to disappointed I apologize you guys are amazing I feel like I let my family down :pensive::pensive::pensive: HERES TO MY FIRST DAY LETS GOOOO :woozy_face::face_with_head_bandage::heart:

on the bright side and positives I have my career I’ve been traveling the roads and country it’s been therapy to I’m still trying to go for my goal weight of 145 lbs I still practice self love self care and I love myself also have been coming out of debt financially etc. I have not let my demons completely take control of me and let myself go to complete dirt . This is my 2 day of drinking and this is where it ends it stops before I really do end up loosing everything I have.

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These are just some of the many pictures I’ve taken while truck driving across this beautiful country USA :star_struck::+1::+1::+1: it’s therapy to me.

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I’m am just glad your not tipping over into the point of no return. You have been doing well. Remember this disease centers in our brain. Our thoughts are a powerful thing. They can take us to places we have no business being. It happends so quick, we must be on guard. We really have no defense against that first drink. Chin up. Dust yourself off. No need to question why things are the way they are, just that God has a better plan than we do and it takes growing pains to get there. At least it did for me. We don’t have to drink over them. Our brain tells us its a good idea, trickery I tell ya!!!
Love you and 145, really? Thats like feather weight, lol. Its still great 2 have goals. I hope you accept yourself just the way u are, all the good, all the bad, cuz we do. We’re human, we fall short everyday. Next right thing honey…take a break and let God take over, just for today. :heart::orange_heart::yellow_heart::green_heart::blue_heart::purple_heart:

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Don’t be too hard on yourself today. Show yourself some Grace. All that negative self talk can take u right back to the mental state that got u drunk. Sorry if I’m going on and on. But I just really care and understand.

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Much love to you my brother. Not disappointed in you at all… just the opposite really. It’s one thing to give up, it’s another to fight. You’re choosing to fight. Keep it up man. WIN TODAY.

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Love you to :heart: thank you I really really appreciate it that’s all I can do is dust myself off and yes I accept myself the good ugly bad happy sad everything about myself no please don’t be sorry please keep going ON AND ON AND ON :joy: because what your saying are facts today I’m going to go to church and get some prayers going.

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I’m going to put my boxing gloves on and Iam going to fight and give it my 110 percent I will not go down like this . :pray:

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You’re here today, in this moment and that’s awesome! What’s done is done…we can’t change it, but we can strive to do things differently moving forward. The stresses of life are real, and hard…going through all the emotions of a divorce is emotionally exhausting, but be mindful to not stay in those feelings…

Today, you pick yourself up and you fight…fight hard, because ultimately your the only one who can, and your worth that fight! Don’t lose sight of that!

Sit down and layout what you did previously to battle your addictions…what didn’t work, what did, and what can you modify so the tool is sharper next time you need it?

This road is winding my friend…it can be long, dark and even lonely sometimes…BUT your not alone! You have this community…we’re all here knowing your struggle and willing to listen, and go into battle with you.

Stay your course and fight! Rise and thrive my friend. May blessings of strength be yours.

:blush::raised_hands:t2::ocean::sun_with_face:

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That right there :pray: is powerful Iam not alone I have you guys this community is amazing I’m in let’s go to battle I’m going to put my gear on boxing gloves anything I need to get to where I need to alcohol won’t take me down because I won’t let it thank you

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Let’s Gooo !! :star_struck: J throws a left Jab … Alcohol ducks J throws a Right Uppercut DOWN GOES ALCOHOL !!

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Pure Sobpoetry

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I’m not good at tip toeing anymore. Especially when it comes to the disease. I use to really keep my my own ideas to myself. Now I feel like I have to speak it… people are dying. I was a chronic relapser. Expert at what not to do.

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Glad you are back. I guess no-one (okay, I can only speak of myself) is mad at you or angry. It is not my responsibility and out of my control what you do. Sadly or good we always have to learn for our own. But with this community and every single one, it’s way easier to travel this journey.

So, I am happy for you being back.
Hugs from Germany.

:hugs::sunflower:

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That’s what I’m talking about!!! NOW is your time! Don’t ever forget it :facepunch:t2:

Make it happen! :raised_hands:t2:

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Aw hugs back from America :star_struck::heart:

I beileve so to that this journey alone is wicked hard and can’t be done alone I’m not saying it’s never been done but doing it with others in this Journey is 100 x better . Thanks

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No one is disappointed, Trucker; that’s probably one of the biggest things that can derail anybody’s sobriety or strength.
I’m so glad you’re back and not going down a deep rabbit hole; onward and upward, my friend!

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Very true ! This is where and when the real me comes out this is when you build character and I’m all for it thanks I appreciate :heart:

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Been looking for you on the post. I dont get on much since I try to keep myself busy. I’m going to say for me Trucker I say I’ll check in later , I have things to do first. Which is wrong cause I need you and you need me. That’s why we all joined this blog for help and support. I think of you and others on here often cause even though I have never meet anyone in person I’m sure we all feel like friends and that’s how I consider you and others. In all honesty we all came here knowing we need help, support, kindness, love and yes even that aggressive kick in the ass we all get once in a while. One thing I never ever have seen on here is saying we dont accept anyone or we dont understand relapse. We are all one second from relapse. You are such a insiparation to all of us and we all have learned from you. You were my first personal message I sent out to on this blog to tell you the truth I was like no I’m not going to send it cause I felt stupid. But you reached out to me and encouraged me to keep going. You are loved and important to us and to God. In your own words Trucker LETS GOOOOO!

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Dude that was nice of you man is someone cutting onions around me ? (Sniff,sniff,) :muscle::joy: thank you I appreciate it a ton

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Hey! So happy to see you’re back! I’m sorry you have been struggling so badly lately. Speaking first hand, DIVORCE SUCKS and it can drag you down into deep, dark depths of one’s soul. Even when you hope to go through it amicably, with or without children being involved… it seldomly goes that way.

Anyway! I know you are probably kicking yourself of sorts, but please be gentle on yourself as you get yourself back on track. You are an incredibly strong individual and you can quit and achieve all your goals, hopes and dreams. You will rise above this and soar again… and be even stronger than you were previously!

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