I'm new. I feel horrible

I screwed up. I feel so much guilt and shame I can’t stand it.

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I’m right there with u :disappointed:

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Hang in there! You cannot change the past but you have now and every day forward. Don’t be too hard on yourselves. It is a process that often takes many attempts. You are doing the right thing by checking in, seeking support. :hugs::hugs::hugs:

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As much as that sucks i am glad i found this app and know I’m not alone. I hope you start feeling better

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I really appreciate that. You have no idea. I really thought this would be a dud app and no one on it or something. I’ve been reading posts and I really really need this.

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It’s really helped my @Deny, I’m on day 11 and before that didn’t manage more than one day sober in two decades. It’s not easy but it is worth it. No good can come from beating yourself. Be proud of yourself for reaching out and know that you are absolutely not alone. We are walking the same walk with you, however imperfectly. All we can do is keep on trying.

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Sorry to hear, but i’ve been there too. Most of us have had their shair of relapses. Don’t be to hard on yourself, but try to learn from your relapse so you can avoid a new one.
Make a plan and stick to it, you can do it!
I wish you well :heart:

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Thank you. I just can’t stand feeling this way anymore. I feel like I’m dying, I have no energy, I feel completely alone, and I make a fool of myself. And that is the hardiest part to get over it hurts my stomach thinking about how stupid I act while intoxicated.

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Maybe write down how you feel right now and put that paper in your wallet. There will be a time when you want to use or drink again and then you can read it as a reminder. We forget fast how bad our DOC makes us and start to romanticize it.
Be kind to yourself now. Eat healthy and sleep a lot. Take it one day at a time.
It helps me to come here every day, maybe that helps you too?
Maybe consider AA or SMART, it helps a lot of people here!

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Of course I don’t mind @Deny . First thing to say is that it is still a bit of a daily battle for me but I hear it gets easier. I check in every day and that helps and I commit to staying sober for that day. Mornings are easier, mid afternoon is a challenge. Getting through my first day was so hard, I didn’t want to go through it again so that was something. When I get cravings, I get up and do something. Often I go out and just walk and walk and walk till it passes. I read other people’s stories. I think about why I am doing this and why I want to do this; I think about how temporary a relief it would be in the moment to have a drink and I think about how gutted I would be the next day, and I know in my heart, that I would lose courage and it would put me right back where I’ve been for 20 years. I remind myself how it feels to wake up and not feel the shadow of guilt, shame and self loathing and focus on the fact that if I stay strong, that feeling of lightness and peace will be there for me the next day. I don’t know if this helps you, but this is my learning so far, over 11 days.

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Hi Deny! I know how you are feeling but carry on thinking that you are not alone. I had my last relapse one year ago and I felt like crap just like you, I felt so guilty that I couldn’t even look myself in the mirror. I found support in AA and I have never drunk anymore. This forum anyway is helping me a lot, above all when I can’t go to AA meetings. Anyway, be strong. As the time will pass you won’t feel guilty anymore. As you were told, you can think of this awful relapse when you’re about to relapse. Withdrawals are not eternal, they will pass. I was told to undertake in whatever activity doesn’t involve selfdestruction such as volunteering, cutting the grass, walking, listening to music, doing the vacuuming… when I have cravings I usually act like this. Oh, of course you can drink colas or eat something sweet. This weakens my cravings.

Oh @Deny, I also find the milestone counter on here encouraging too!

Mann…been there many times , it does get better, I found this app at one point and it really helped …then I jumped on the Rollercoaster for I have no idea how long … Then got back … Helps a lot… Felt a lot of guilt ,shame and a lot of other sh*t feels … But it does get better … You’ll find a lot of great helpful people here, great advice, stories that will have a huge impact on your own… Whatever it takes, try and fight, if you go down , get back up again and see what brought you down…learn from mistakes than they won’t be mistakes but opportunities to get better as @Yoda-Stevie says get better at getting better …

So fight ! Wish you strenght and luck !

And yeah, participate !

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Welcome. I’ve been there. Many times. The more days you don’t drink, the better you will feel. It won’t always be easy. But after a few days that simple accomplishment feels amazing.
Go for walks.
Drink tea or sparkling water.
Exercise.
Hang out with someone who is not drinking.
Read.
Watch movies.
Clean.
Eat healthy food, but dont worry if you give in to those sugar cravings every now and then.
These are just a few options. Feel better soon.

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Have you considered AA? It works great for helping me keep the drink down. Let me know if you have any questions about it. Wish you well!

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I truly appreciate all the responses to help. I really think this wi help when I am feeling like being an idiot. Like you all have said just one day at a time…this will pass and the guilt and fear will turn to pride and happiness.

I have looked in the past thinking I would go but there isnt one in my area that I have been able to find. The closest one is 45 minutes away from me that I saw

You can find AA and SMART meetings online but unfortunately I can’t remember what it’s called but if u searched online I’m sure u would find it if that kind of support could also help u :smile:

“In The Rooms” has online meetings.

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I personally check in every day. When I’m bored. If I’m stressed. I work on keeping my mind occupied with things that don’t involve drinking or thinking about it. Reading, movies, work, cleaning, cooking. Whatever I need. I also replaced drinking beer with drinking sparkling water (La Croix). I could go through the motions of cracking a cold fuzzy drink but not actually consume alcohol and it made the early days much easier, and I was well-hydrated.

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