This is more of vent.
I’ll start by saying the person I’m about to talk about is a very good friend of mine, he has stood by me every step of the way when others have not, just this covo yesterday has irked me.
For the past 4 years my friend has been in and out of rehab and has been battling his own demons of various addictions. During this time, at every opportunity, he would tell me that I had a problem with drinking and that needed to stop. He would send me links to AA pages, invite me to meetings and really just talk about it whenever he could etc
Just over 6 months ago (although I had been toying with the idea for a year or so prior to this but never really took action) I decided to stop once and for all as it was getting out of hand.
At the start of this I really struggled with calling my self an addict, it was painful to say but he sort of drilled it into me and I learnt to accept it.
I found it hard I guess as I wasn’t a daily drinker, I was a binge drinker who would drink heavily when I DID drink but I could go weeks at a time between each binge. My drinking did cause me issues, ruined relationships and was preventing me from becoming the best version of me that I could be. I slowly learnt that THAT was what an addict was, it didn’t matter about the frequancy of my drinking, it was the impact it had on my life and also that when I started to drink, I could never stop, I had no control. Some binges went on for days, when I had the time…
So anyway, as I said, i grew comfortable with the knowledge that I was an addict, took appropriate action and have been clean since. First attempt.
Now, remember that for years my friend has been shining a light on my behaviours (which I AM greatful for) but at first this was embarrassing and painful to hear.
Now just yesterday we were talking about sobriety he turns around and says “oh no you were never an addict in the first place, you’ve found it all too easy”
wth!? So for all these years it’s been ok for him force the idea onto me that I’m an addict, and believe me it wasn’t nice to hear but now ive finally accepted it and found it’s ‘easy’ to become sober (I have not btw… ) he throws it back in my face that I was never an addict anyway??
I know it’s pathetic of me but I feel like he’s took my power away, like at first berating me for my addiction but now I feel accomplished that i have beaten it he’s decided there was nothing to beat as I was never an addict anyway
Fwiw I am over all greatful to him for shining light on it all, that just hurt yesterday and I can’t understand why he’s now taking this stance when for YEARS he’s told me the opposite .