Im on the wheel that never ends


#1

Saw another post which motivated me to get some truth out to the world. Every few months I use again. Meth. I hate everything about it. It is the devil. I can relate to other posts here a common theme I see is not understanding how this occurred. The fact is - I allowed this to be a possibility by failing to do everything I have been taught. Period. I keep hoping with little effort this monkey will magically get off my back and I will wake up one day and have not thought about picking up in a year… and then I’ll say … “huh” and think to myself …cool… I’ve made it to a place where I know that drugs and alochol are not a pillar in the life that I desire / But that is a fairy tale. So here I am about to embark on the plan… again… this time I will not lie to myself because I am worthy of the honesty I need to overcome this battle. I get to reset my sober time app. Usually I make a point to file away my time as nothing to remember or not valuable, this is a defense mechanism for justification for failure before it ever occurs. Father - please help me see.


#2

Good stuff, here! There is no magic, just doing the work. Regardless of what plan you’re in – the only plan that works, is the one you’re working.

So, what’s the plan?


#3

@EarnIt… great question… the plan. Sleep… Then write out what lies I have been believing that have lead to this. Eat my pride and get back to meetings I have hidden from for the last two weeks. Get a sponsor and hit the steps that I have never done outside of rehabs. Create and start cultivating a lifestyle that promotes selfless thoughts as I am finding a major issue I have is I’m constantly thinking about self which is what I think I am escaping from… wait … hold on… learn what I don’t love about myself… much to do !!!


#4

Yes unfortunately it is a fairy tale. We will only stay sober if we put the work in every single day. You’ve realized that now so that’s a great start! Now, one day at a time work on it. You’ll be so glad you did!