Went to the orthopedist for my back and he basically said he couldn’t do anything after not looking at my back for more than like 30 seconds. So yeah. Finding a new orthopedist. Ughhh. It’s just so frustrating.
How long have you been writing? What kind of message do you want it to send? Does it need a major or minor key? It could be that you play just a few chords under it if the poem is the centre piece. I base everything I write around a solos and vocal melody.
Poetry, I’ve been writing for years. Music, not long. We’ll, I’ve done some tunes, but not writing the music down. I want it to be broad and generally about my experiences with depression and assault. But like broad. Probably minor, but idk yet.
I just can’t think of a Melody I want is all.
I feel fat today. Like more than normal. I’m trying to eat less, but I’m so scared I’ll lose control again and stop eating. Idk. Ah well. We’ll see. Ughhh. I’m stressed. Oof.
How did the blood test go?
Getting healthy takes time, you don’t need to do it overnight! In fact making small changes that are sustainable over the long term is better than trying to make everything happen all at once.
How’s the song coming along?
It was ok. I don’t have results back, but it was ok. Thanks 
Yeah, I know. That’s true. It’s just mad frustrating cause I can barely work out so it’s really hard to lose weight or get healthy.
Oof. It’s not. I still can’t think of a tune I want. Blech lol. I’mma keep trying though.
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Short walks and good food, be patient you will get there! I am a massive hypocrite saying that though because I’m super impatient 
Yea keep on with the song, although it sounds like you might need another distraction for when that gets too frustrating 
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Thanks, I’ll try. Same, I hate waiting.
Yeah, exactly. Rn I’m working on my art midterm. I’mma do a post in a sec cause I need advice.
Ok here’s my project so far.
I have to have “Art is” on it and I have to talk about what I think art is. And I’m thinking I’ll have words in like calligraphic font coming out from it. But I also want to have one big broad one at the bottom that encompasses the others and have it look kinda like this:
And idk what words to choose, cause I want it to be really good.
Feel free to give me advice on more words, which to cut out, or what the most powerful would be to put on the bottom.
Thanks y’all. No pressure tho. Good vibes welcome too.
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I don’t really think about art much but I actually love modern art. I did art at A Level (when I was 17/18) and funny enough I did a project that had some text art in it. Have you heard of Bruce Nauman? He did some neon text art which is pretty cool.
I had a bit of a look through Bruce Nauman and I like this one - the idea that art (and the artist) can reveal something. From your list I really like Art is Vision…
The other thing I noticed looking through some of Nauman’s work, an idea that I think is really cool, is the power of using contrasting words - live/die, dark/light, positive/negative, backwards/forwards. Makes me think about how you can see the same thing from two perspectives.
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It’s really frustrating not having close friends. It’s just my bff and my one friend. But we don’t really talk about stuff too much. But we’re mad close. But she doesn’t know about the jerkbutts.
But it’s hard cause if my bff is who I’m frustrated with, what do I do? Exactly. It’s just hard. Ah well.
Oh cool! Modern art is notmally fun. Some is eh
but overall it’s fun.
I’v never heard of him. But I like the picture. I’ll totally check him out!
I like that one too.
Wow, contrasts would be cool, especially cause the lettering is in 2 point perspective 
Dang!
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Why are you frustrated with your BFF?
Also just a point to note, having lots of close friends has its own challenges. At school I was in a group of 6 girls and it always went into little sub groups and sometimes got really nasty. It had its up sides too of course - but so does just having one or two good friends!
No, it’s just frustrating not to have many friends. I have like two.
Yeah, I know. But having like one or two more close friends would be nice. And maybe a few more not as close friends.
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I’ve been having a really hard time. My back really hurts and I slipped and fell today so it hurts more.
Also I have midyears.
And my group therapist passed out a sheet of sex stuff that we could look at and think about what we are and aren’t cool with. And I just feel really bad. I never realized how much I can’t do. And idk if I’m just vaguely asexual, or I just haven’t tried stuff so I can’t know, or if its cause of the jerkbutts who messed me up.
And I still can’t talk. It’s really frustrating cause I feel so alone.
And today I started thinking about cutting and not eating and pot and stuff. So idk. I hate he idea of pot but idk. And I don’t wanna start cutting or not eating again.
I’m just mad stressed I think and I’m in pain constantly.
Also my friend in group is gone for the next 6 weeks so it’s just me and 2 girls who talk all the time and idk. I have so much difficulty talking and so I can’t really talk much and since they do, I never get to talk at all and idk. Plus, jet made me more comfortable cause he empathized and was mad supportive.
Plus I hate having boobs and I’m way too fat and it’s so hard to lose weight and I hate everything can ughhh.
Ugh. Sorry for the rant. I’m just kinda struggling rn.
Hey that sucks. It never rains but it ours right?
Give yourself a break. It’s ok not to have everything figured out yet!
A while ago you were talking about writing down some things that you’d like to say in therapy, did you ever try that?
Big hugs 
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Yeah.
I know, it’s just frustrating.
Yeah. I did. But I couldn’t say it. I just can’t talk. Like I’ll try to talk and idk what happens but I just can’t talk and then I’m like I’m fine. Ugh. It’s annoying. Ah well.
Thanks! Hugs right back at you for your support!
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Can you give the therapist what you’ve written down, maybe at the beginning of the session? Might be easier in individual rather than group therapy though, I don’t know. Anyway you tried!
Why do you think you can’t talk when you get there?
I can, but it stressed me out so much, plus, she’ll wanna discuss it, and I can’t. We’ll see.
Idk why. I’m not good at talking in general. Plus I don’t like crying. And it’s sex, which makes it even harder to talk about.
It’s funny isn’t it how we put this pressure on ourselves to present this image like we are absolutely fine… Even when we really aren’t.
How’s it a going at school, are midyears still happening or is that all finished now?