I'm starting my recovery but in a relationship issue plz help!

Ok it’s me again I’m an addict on Day 2 yay! I live with my girlfriend who is a bit older she is an awesome person when she is sober. But then here comes the beer omg! When she is sober she loves me, thanks me for my help, spends time with me. Etc. etc. when she drinks I get put down, belittled, told how much she hates me, kicks me out about 4 times a week. I am very help 24/7 even when I use I’m very shy and meek. She with her beer is exactly like dr jackal and mr. Hyde. She says I buy everything your nothing without me. I only get for example SSI currently job seeking. I don’t have a support system except when she is sober not sure that even counts? I’m working on my addiction Day 2! Yay! That is my home life and absolutely no where to go in this city not a very good city for support in except the A.A. And N.A. Meetings still very new to them. Hope I didn’t confuse anyone! Just had to get that off my chest any advice will be greatly appreciated :thinking::grinning:

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Living with an active addict while trying to be sober will be hard! Very hard if you are committed to her you are going to have to approach your sobriety with caution. They say it’s a selfish program for a reason. The reason is that your sobriety is fragile and needs, deserves your full attention especially at the first few months. I take it she is not wanting to try sobriety at this time? If I were in that situation the first thing I would try is meetings at least 7 days a week and try to find a temporary sponsor immediately. You will need to have sober support. I personally would think about looking for a different situation to come home to as well. I don’t think what you have is healthy for your goals. But find as much help as you can in sober friends. This place can be one part of that but I don’t know if it will be enough. Good luck. You have to put your sobriety first for a little bit.

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Thank you for the advice. I found an awesome meeting I’m going to start going to in the morning 7 days a week called Get a Life. I really like the name to. Cuz it’s what I need to do! Anyway, no she’s not willing to try yet she says she doesn’t want to at this time and i am currently looking for rooms for rent or something somewhere. I love this sober community.

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I have to agree with you @Chad_R, @Cfloyd1113 you have to put you and your recovery first.

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could be you are just in a destructive relationship with the catalyst being alcohol.
When i first joined this app i was feeling down because i had quit booze but my relationship had not improved. It took someone to point out the obvious , alcohol may not be the problem in the relationship but the relationship itself. Simple really, give up booze because you want to, but dont expect miracles in rocky relationships.

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A toxic relationship is the last thing you need- take care of YOU

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