I’ve done everything right beyond AA because I don’t believe in what that stands for, for me. I appreciate what it is and all it offers but it’s not me. But I’ve been going to counseling every week, I went to the doctor to check my everything, I went to gastro doc to figure out my stomach stuff, I went to the gym (stopped when I spiraled into the worst depression I’ve ever been in) and am going to a homeopathic doctor this Friday… I’m legit trying but life is kicking my butt. I’m drinking again. Not as much but enough. I never sleep at night. Barely eat. And I’m at an all time low emotionally. I hate my job. I just am stuck. I don’t get it. I am putting all my cards on this Friday. I’ve been low before but never this low. I’ve also never fought this hard and I feel like I’m moving backwards.
I was doing the same thing- throwing punches with my eyes closed hoping I would hit something. I tried doing it MY way for years with little to no success.
Maybe it’s time to TRY doing it a different way, something that is proven to work. There are other options than AA- SMART, WFS, Refuge Recovery, IOP.
What ever you choose, admitting that “MY WAY” isn’t working is the first step.
Thank you @SmokeyMirror! I will look into the other options you posted. I’ve only looked into SMART. I just need to get this depression in check. Everything seems like too much. I live alone and have no family here so it’s a challenge. I am trying though. I appreciate you responding.
If it’s not clinical depression, something that helps me when feeling depressed is a gratitude list. Starting small with “I’m breathing today” and working up from there I find that I have a lot to be grateful for, and a lot more to offer this world than what I’ve been giving. I wish you the best.
Thank you again! I’m working on it with my counselor and hopefully the homeopathic doctor can way in too. I’m putting in the work. I’m just going backwards. But I’m legit trying. I’m getting ready to get ready for work and then volunteering at Dare to Care later.
It sounds like depression is a huge underlying factor that needs to be addressed. It is much the same for me. I’m finally getting my depression treated (again). And like @SmokeyMirror mentioned, I’m trying to be more grateful about the things that are positive in my life. It seems cheesy when you’re making these gratitude lists, but it helps me. All the best to you.
@Jlangston70
Yes, that’s my biggest obstacle right now. I keep a self talk journal. It’s eye opening on how we talk to ourselves. I’m really putting a lot of hope into this doc in Friday. He seems to be pretty positive that he can help.
Thank you for your kind response!
I sincerely hope that you feel it helps. Be very careful with homeopathy, you could be scammed out of a lot of money
My drinking became so bad that it was time to let my pride and ego go and literally be willing to do whatever it took to get clean. I hope you can be given that gift of desperation.
Agreed. But he is someone I know(ish) and is only charging me what I can afford.
Thank you @Englishd! Right now my depression is coming first but yes I hope I put that first next or side by side. I do intend to look into my options. My counselor is amazing just unfortunately is only once a week when I need chats more often. I by no means think I’m doing it all right. Clearly I’m not. But I’m here and I’m doing more and more all the time.
Hang in there it gets better, I promise you it does.
Get to alot of meetings and live the steps. I never gave up, kept fighting. Group of women friends will help immensely.
Yeah, I could use more women pals. I’ve always been one of the guys.
We have to change everything about us for a chance at recovery.
There’s a group called women for sobriety I believe. I’ve heard positive things about it
Great point.
I’ll look into it more. I believe I saw it was mostly online. I don’t have a laptop, just my phone but if that proves to be conducive I’ll give it a go.
I suspect it’s not what you want to hear but the only thing that dragged me out of my massive depression enough to actually get a claw into dealing with the rest of my life was antidepressants. Once I gave in and tried them, everything started to get easier and I’m not going backwards anymore, so much so that a year after having been on them I was finally able to face my drinking problem and start to work on that too. Its only 16 days out but I already feel like a different person.