Thank you @jms! I’ve thought about that. I go to a holistic counselor and do try to stray from medications but I am open to it if it comes to that. I know what’s led me down this road. I’ve had life things, as we all have. I’m not using it as an excuse but I was hoping to learn better coping mechanisms. I honestly probably waited too long to start that journey and now everything is too much. I’m going to see what the Doc suggests this Friday then if it’s not working or not what I think will help I will likely journey down that road.
And a big congratulations to you on your 16 days! And also on feeling better. I’m sure that feels amazing to you.
Depression is a tough battle, I hate it more than alcohol. Find some sort of group. There is just something energizing about talking face to face with people that fight the same demons. For me, that group is AA (mentioned only in conversation, not to convert you ). It has helped me far more than anything else.
Thank you @anon46927530! It certainly is a beast. I’m fighting back though. But love the response I get here because you all always lend a great perspective and put me in a better frame of mind. My counselor’s office does mindful walks in different outdoor settings and I may start there just to try an in person group setting and see how it may grow me or point me into other groups.
It’s about group dynamics…took me “shopping” a lot of AA meetings to find a group that was comfortable. I imagine any group, no matter what it’s called is the same. Luckily where I live, there is atleast 1 to 2 groups that meet every hour on the hour. So I had plenty to choose from.
Oh @Troxie! Consider making an emergency appointment with your Dr. today while you’re open to suggestions. Be honest & thorough describing your struggles. Alcohol & depression often go hand in hand (they fuel each other) both need to be treated.
The things I’ve been doing to help me in this are focusing on the bad stuff that has happened…as crummy as that may sound, focusing on the present day, and not worrying about tomorrow. Plus, I’ve listened to a TON of podcasts. It’s easy for me because I have a cozy desk job…but hearing others talk about their experiences in a place that’s a bit more comfortable than the rooms, makes it stick a bit more. Sure, some people may have wildly different experiences than me, but I can relate to more than not.
I’ve done A.A., I’ve had the sponsor, I’ve worked the steps. It’s not for everyone. It’s not for me. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with trying things outside of the traditional method. You just have to find what works best for you and go headstrong into it. Think about the positives that will come for you from sobering up. It’s helped me a ton so far.
If you fall down six times, get up seven. Best of luck with everything!
In June, I decided to FINALLY address my anxiety and depression with my doctor. I understand that anti-depressants aren’t for everyone, but I don’t think I’d be where I am in my sobriety journey if it weren’t for that. I’m also planning on starting counseling so that by next spring I can be off the meds. AA isn’t my jam either, but I’ve bought into refuge recovery! Keep us updated on what you decide to do!
We had a bunch of refuge recovery peeps come to our AA home group the other night so we are getting a group together to go check out their group soon. There’s a lot of overlap in Syracuse between the fellowships
You may want to at least start looking for a new job as well, sounds like that your current one is not good. We spend so much time working and if we hate the job it will affect our mental health.
I didn’t have time to read every comment so sorry if I repeat anyone…
Insanity- doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.
I too lived in insanity for years! And it didnt get better until I started to take suggestions and quit doing things my way. My way was not working… I had to reach out and ask for help and rather than just talk about getting sober, actually doing it!
So to me and I can just speak for me, it sounds like it’s time to do something different. By no means am I saying stop what youre doing now, but add to…
I came in to recovery 7 years ago and now have 608 days sober, not 7 years. I’ll be coming up on 2 years in December, but it’s taken time and doing the things I didnt want to do. I repeat, doing the things I did NOT want to do. Like who would have thought AA and the 12 Steps could work. NOT this girl! But come to find out, the steps and aa have saved my ass. Theres different meetings though to other than aa and a 12 step program. Theres SMART recovery, celebrate recovery, women in recovery. All kinds of recovery programs. Maybe check some of those out… my question is though, have you gone to aa and just didnt like it? Have you actually tried working the 12 steps and didnt ha e success? I didnt like it at first either but it helped when it was all said and done. But Enough about that… maybe you can try journaling, talking to someone about what’s really going on like another alcoholic. Noone understands an alcoholic like another alcoholic. Have you dug deep down and figured out what’s really bothering you? The things that keep empowering the relapses? I had to do some real soul searching. I needed help! Have you thought about maybe an IPO program (intensive out patient program). I’ve done IPO and got a lot out of it. I needed tools on how to say no to that first drink… so maybe ask yourself, what can I do to say no to the first one?.
@Troxie I have suffered with depression and alcohol issues but I am now getting the help, in fairness and to be accurate I only got help offered because I deliberately took an overdose and quite recent at that, I’m now enrolled onto a course about dealing with depression and also weekly meetings with a company called cgl (change, grow, live,) not AA meetings this is going to help me and its something that I have to do, I was set against it before as I thought I could manage myself, but I failed. Reaching out is hard and not something we want to do, feeling vulnerable is the worst and we don’t want people to see us that way. Sometimes we have to show our vulnerable self and we will learn alot about ourselves in doing so. I would recommend finding a program there are women only groups and also non religious organisations too
). It has helped me far more than anything else.
Consider making an emergency appointment with your Dr. today while you’re open to suggestions. Be honest & thorough describing your struggles. Alcohol & depression often go hand in hand (they fuel each other) both need to be treated.