Im trying but its so hard

I keep trying and failing at stopping self harm. Right now my legs are so scarred up they look like a cats scratch post. Fuck. I wanna get better but what if its too late for me. Its been years since I started and i keep getting better at getting worse.

I need to go to the hospital but im scared. My parents dont know i relapsed. I have a job now, i dont want to let them down. But i just keep sinking lower and lower and i dont know if i can keep going anymore. Im so sick of my life

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I have too many people that need me to have my shit together for me to disappear right now. Work, school, family, theres too much for me to just leave. I dont now if i should, it would be selfish of me to leave like that

Listen to music
Or go to the gym

Anything I put before my recovery I will lose anyway.

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Hey I struggle with self harm also. it’s crucial that you get the help that you need because it can turn in to something bad. I have been to the point of where I almost died bc of self harm. Message me if you want or have any questions.

Sorry, It’s not an option for you to not go to the hospital. You need help ASAP.