In Triggerland- need encouragement

I need some encouragement. I’m doing my best not to drink. Today, I have the trifecta of reasons why I drink - work stress/husband stress/family stress. Drinking doesn’t help any of things. I know that. That’s why I’m here. I just have that nagging voice in my head that says- just go get a drink. You can stop “feeling” all this stress. I know it’s lying. I mean, I would stop feeling it but then be mad at myself. And have a headache. And still have the stress. I get it. I just feel super triggered and sad. I don’t want to go to a meeting. I don’t feel like talking in person to people today. But I know you guys are out there - struggling with the same and more. So, I’m asking for encouragement. Please.


Hi i can relate to the stress of life but drinking won’t solve the problem. Your still got the stress again tomorrow. If u really can’t face going to a meeting can you have a quiet hour to yourself? Can u ask your husband to help out with chores tonight so u can get some rest . X keep fighting and reaching out for help hope u feel better soon x


I know. It never solves it. But it sure does take it away for immediate gratification. I’m going to make it. It’s just hard. So many people have a harder struggle than I do. I’m just worried about losing myself.

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Opal, I am sorry you are struggling. Life can feel so overwhelming at times. But that does usually pass if we can get out of our own way. And we all know a drink or ten won’t help at all and only makes it worse.

I struggle with wanting to not feel uncomfortable a lot. I have to distract myself. I mostly do that with food, shopping, endorphins and yoga and meditation. Some are healthier coping mechanisms than others. Lots of people vent by journaling…can you write out your feelings? It may help them pass. Can you get outside and take a walk? Or hang out in a warm bath?

Triggers will always come up. Learning what works best for us to get thru them is so important. Just being here and reaching out as you did is a HUGE step and hopefully helping you. Big props for that! :heart:


I understand when things start to collapse and it feels like it’s too hard to cope. Take care of yourself. Read, go have a tasty treat, go to a friends, go on a road trip for the day. Anything that will allow your body to settle and refocus. Tight hugs sweetheart if you want them.



Some days, this is how I feel. But, I won’t drink because I don’t drink. I am a non-drinker, and have been for 701 days.

I cope with martial arts training, which is a tremendous stress reliever. After my evening class or morning workout, the endorphins make me feel great.

Another benefit is the knowledge that I have the ability to crush those who anger me. I don’t have to do it. I am content with the knowledge that the only thing standing between the object of my ire, and the ICU, is my choosing not to hurt them. It’s empowering, when you think about it. So I don’t have to hurt anyone physically. I can do it metaphysically.

My point is we feel stressed when we don’t think we have the ability to influence the situation, and in truth, maybe we don’t. Instead we turn to substances, or porn, or food, or self-harm, or gambling, anything that offers the illusion of control. You can control one thing: how you react to stressful things.

Me? I choose to smash them. If not in reality, than in my mind.


Thank you @LovelyLya and @Yoda-Stevie. I sincerely appreciate the thoughts from you both.


You aren’t alone in this. Holler if you need

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this too shall pass. the best advice i can offer you is to ride it out. keep yourself busy and soon enough the overwhelming emotion to drink will leave your mind. get yourself a treat if you can - chocolate, fizzy drink, etc to keep your mouth busy and happy.


Thanks for helping me get through this day.


We don’t have a harder struggle with have the same struggle, I hope you are still doing OK, I relapsed a couple of days ago and everything you have said is true, it did not make me feel any better what so ever, listen to your own advice, your ego has not fooled you yet. be strong.

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I am doing ok. Thank you very much for hoping. I need hope. And strength. I’m sorry you relapsed but I’m glad you are back. This place is such help. My ego has fooled me many, many times. I’ve stood in my own way for years. I’m so very tired of that.


Hi… I chose Roundkick as my screen name because I earned my black belt in my early 30’s. I am now 50. It is a reminder that I have it in me to set and achieve goals. That is what I am doing now, 12 days in. Martial arts is a great mind-body focus. Good for you!


Which style of art?

Karate. I sometimes refer to it as Karate McDonalds because it was a chain studio yet I don’t take away from it the fact that I worked my best off. You?

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…ass off. (auto-correct)

Krav Maga, Muay Thai, and Lethwei. I’m a year or so away from black in Krav and Muay Thai.

When I was stationed in Okinawa in the 90’s, I took Shorin Ryu Karate.

Took some Krav classes as well. That is more my speed. Keep it up and please share your successes with me when you earn your belt (s). I plan to still be here in a year. You are inspiring me…

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I know how you’re feeling. I’ve had a rubbish horrid morning and now feel so down. I don’t want to see anyone or speak to anyone. But we can do this. These are temporary feelings and we just need to take this a minute at a time. We need to realise we’re worth fighting for, that the better life we want and crave is worth fighting for. You’ve got this

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Momentary relief followed by long term suffering. It’s absolute insanity. Never would we apply this action to any other aspect of our lives. But it’s an addict’s mind that dictates our behavior if we give in to it. After 19 years of struggling with sobriety I finally have my feet on solid ground, and it wasn’t easy but it was worth it to never resort to drinking to manage stress. Therapy, AA, meditation. That is my trifecta. And as a combat vet I can honestly say there have been moments that I thought getting healthy and sober was harder than war.

This is a personal war, and one we can all conquer if we lay the ground work, and make the effort. Yes I still have stress, but I no longer take it with me on a roller coaster ride of drinking followed by long term suffering. We can all live this life if we set our minds to it. :slightly_smiling_face::heart:

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