“Do we fully accept the fact that our every attempt to stop drinking/using or trying to control our drinking/using failed?”
The room is dark. Your forehead is bathed in cold sweat. Your heart is racing. You open your eyes, sure that you’ve just blown your sober time. You’ve had a “using dream”, and it was just like being there - the people, the places, the routine, the sick feeling in your stomach, everything. It takes a few moments to realize it was just a nightmare, that it didn’t actually happen. Slowly, you settle down and return to sleep.
The next morning is the time to examine what really happened the night before. You didn’t drink/use last night - but how close are you to drinking/using today? Do you have any illusions about your ability to control your drinking/using? Do you know, without a doubt, what would happen if you took the first drink or used? What stands between you and a real, live relapse? How strong is your program?
Using dreams don’t necessarily indicate a hole in our program; for an alcoholic, or drug addict there’s nothing more natural than to dream of drinking or using.
Some of us think of using dreams as a gift from our Sobriety, vividly reminding us of the insanity of active addiction and encouraging us to strengthen our recovery. Seen in that light, we can be grateful for our using dreams. Frightening as they are, they can prove to be great blessings - if we use them to reinforce our recovery.
Just for Today: I will examine my personal program and seek ways to strengthen my recovery.
