My name is Danny Castillo and I am an alcoholic. It wasnt always that way. I used to party a lot in my youth and It was usually a great time. As I’ve gotten older, My drinking became a problem to the point where I would just get angry and violent. Never towards another person, but entire rooms have been destroyed. Ive gone through so many crazy things I should have died many times. I used to be such a fun loving happy drunk, but now more so then ever, I just get angry and I dont even know why. My life was great and now that my wife has left me not so much. I know the solution is to not drink, but that still leaves me wondering why I’d get so angry…
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It sounds like tslking with a therapist could realy help you open up and get to the root cause of this vuddy, but we,re men right we dont do things like that? Well we should, i,d happily bare my soul if it would help e to heal!
It sounds like you may still romanticise your successful drinking days a little,till you navigate that you may find it a bit of a struggle to feel like your getting somewhere.
I’m not trying to sound like I have all the answers because I definitely don,t, I just noticed that no one had commented and that’s just a couple of things that jumped out at me.
Could you be subconsciously getting angry because your drunk again but realise that that isn’t the answer or what you want? Did you used to have a great time when you used to drink or was it the socialising with friends whilst you were out drinking that was fun because you can still do that and once you get used tomitmi believe that you will find it better sober than it used to be doing it drunk.
Just a little bit of stuff to possibly have a think over. 
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I did too. As I got sober and left behind my addiction, this resolved.
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Ive gone through some crazy living situations, crazy ex girlfriends, that drug gang banger life for 2 years. Had a few alcoholic induced molestations. I’ve battled through a lot of depression. I was also a insomniac to the point where I’d drink myself sober and then go buy some more cause it was legal at 6am. Im 31 now and have been drinking since I was 16. I never really had a limit (obviously did just never knew). Ive gotten into a lot of drunken arguments in my past. Even got into a fist fight with my dad once. Ive been mugged a few times just walking down the street. I convinced myself I was skitzo the way I’d talk to walls and shadow figures. I used to get so drunk at parties where I would stay the next there but mentally couldn’t so I’d walk home at like 3am even if it was like 15 miles. Ive done it all and im sure over the years it has mentally caused some damage that i think triggers when i drink now.
I know some reasons I got angry, though for me usually when alone. They were the same reasons I drank. In my heart of hearts, I was surprisingly insecure for a guy that was so full of ego.
It’s something I still work on today. For me, by going to meetings and working through the steps. Though there’s many ways to face those demons.
And as I’ve learned more about my real, sober self, often with discomfort at first, I have found a more unshakable peace. One that wants no drink or cross words. Just strength and a willingness to be vulnerable if it means a truth that keeps me happy and free.
And the ability to party and celebrate sober! 
Welcome, Danny.
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