Hi, I’m Dave. Over the years I have just found myself steadily drinking more and more wine in the evenings and on weekends, due mainly to lifelong depression and anxiety, but also some loneliness and boredom as well. It helps me to slow my thoughts down enough to just be comfortable. I don’t always get drunk, but I always want to have it. I know it is something a lot of people say to justify their use, but good wine is really one of the things I enjoy in life. I am not an expert on it by any means, but I am fairly passionate about it, which makes quitting even harder. It has not affected my job, which I am very thankful for. It has caused a few relationship problems, which I have since fixed, but then I went and started hiding how much I drink from one of them, my girlfriend. She knows I like to drink but doesn’t know the extent of it. I will get off of work and think, “It’s been a bad (or even good) day, let’s get a bottle of wine.” And then I think, “Will one bottle be enough?” After thinking that too many times, I realized that alcohol takes up far too much space in my mind and my life. I thankfully haven’t lost anything like my job or friends or family, but I’m sure my health has suffered, which hopefully will start to improve as the sober days go by. I am not attending any meetings or anything like that at this time. My way of quitting is probably in itself a kind of perverse self-punishment, but what I do is pour a glass of wine and then look at it, and ruminate on what would happen if I were to take a drink of it. Having it within reach, the ease with which I could grab it, it really drives it home in my mind how easy it is to relapse, and how much I don’t want to go back to that place. Then I pour it back into the bottle and go to bed. It’s worked for 5 days now, and we’ll see what the future brings. I appreciate everyone who shares on here. It helps inspire me and helps me to think about things in a different way than I am accustomed. So thank you everyone and good luck on your sober journeys.
This could be much of my story, but not the wine pour part. Working on day 14, and if it were in the house it would be in my belly.
But hey! Gotta use what works for you, right?!
Take care.
Great work on the 14 days! Keep it up! Glad to know someone out there can relate. It really helps!
Hey guys. So I haven’t posted in here for quite awhile. I haven’t had a drink in almost 8 months, and im really happy about that. But as we tend to do, I found a replacement for that. I had been abusing opiates for about 6 months, and Monday was my first clean day from that. What I’m realizing is that I’m always going to want something to fill that hole or to make me feel really good. So I have to figure out how to deal with that.
Hey everyone,
I’m Jamie, a recovering wino who is 37 about to be 38 years old. I’ve been sober over a year now. It hasn’t been easy, but definitely worth it! I started drinking at 17 years old. My dad was a recovering alcoholic, he went to rehab when I was 14 and even though I never wanted to be like him, I ended up just like him. Anyway, my drinking really took off in my thirties and after getting caught having an affair I quit for good. My drinking led me to making very poor choices (does it ever help you make good choices? lol). To help save my marriage and what was left of my reputation, I decided enough was enough, a drastic change was needed. I still struggle from time to time, especially around 4 or 5 in the afternoon when the evening is beginning, the sun is beginning to set and a big glass of chardonnay sounds so good. I have to remind myself that it never leads to anything good and I’m on the right path for myself and my family. I decided to come to this forum because of the pandemic. Meetings aren’t being held where I live and I’m new to my town and know no one except my husband and kids. Community forums online have been great for me in the past so I thought I’d join one for support and fun! Happy to be here and meet all of you!
Hello, I never thought I could be an alcoholic and could control my drinking but here I am. I’ve tried to quite several times but have not been successful. I can go a day without drinking and be ok, but the next night there I am again drinking the night away. I don’t drink all day, just at night but 1 drink leads to at least 6 or more. I thought I could control it but I see now that I can’t. I saw a friend joined this group and decided to give it a try. I don’t want to wake up spending the day trying to feel better from my literally ill choices. I’m ready to really make a change and am glad there is an anonymous group to help me succeed. Today is day 1 and I’m planning on making changes to my everyday routines to steer myself away from my impulses to grab a drink. I know I can succeed, so today is what I’m considering the first day of the rest of my life.
Hi Jamie, welcome! You’ve been sober longer than me so I don’t have much to say that you don’t already know but changing your mindset about drinking… I had to change my mindset from getting antsy about that time of day to it’s something I don’t do anymore.
I hope to see you around more!
Okay so my name is David… At the young age of 13 I started smoking marijuana and drinking heavily, I generally use marijuana and alcohol together to numb pain and make me feel well. Not too long after that I got injured back and then opiates became my new drug of choice. I allowed opiates to control my life as well as mdma and crack cocaine. Ops what’s from the age of 15 to about 25 and cocaine was from the age 24 to 32 that I struggled with this I had an approximately close to 5 months and I recently threw it away but I’m becoming stronger I focus a day at a time on my sobriety and I never count my days every day I just say I have for today just for today. So if anyone has any more knowledge I also journal but everyday I like to come on this website read some information and apply it to my own life and my own recovery but I do know some knowledge and recovery but I do focus every day on my recovery and put it first and foremost as well as I believe God helps guide me in my personal recovery. Thank you and I look forward to any information I can receive from any of the others on the site and I’m more than happy to try to help with any information I have for you thank you
Thanks for the positive motivation!!
My name is Samantha. I woke up sober today! This is not my first try at recovery. I do pray its my last. I am a mother of 3 beautiful little girls, who of course adore me. I wish I could see what they see. As an addict we dont see the beauty within ourselves and that sucks!! I have always been a “functioning alcoholic and drug user” (not abuser) starting at a very young age. Ive never done meth herion or crack until the age of 29. I am now 2 months shy of being 32 and I have nothing but a van and the love of my daughters. They are in kinship fostercare with my family. Ive lived in a recovery house twice and this will be my 4th honest try at recovery. I know its only been a few hours. But i woke up sober … Its easy to stay sober then to get sober. I last used last night before midnight. I do t want to live like that anymore and i know i dont have too… I went out on 9 months, lasted about 4 months before i came back. I went out on 33 days and hasn’t even been a week. I want to stay sober I want to be a mommy again!!!
Thank you . appreciate that very much!! The previous times trying to get sober I never built a network. I am trying my best to do so now… I actually pick up the phone, share my honest thoughts, put my hand up when im jammed up and so fourth. Today is the day i learn how to say no. Ive had this app for well over a year now and I never used it. Today I signed up and am going to use this as often as i can. I started reading the womans way through the 12 steps. I like it so far! 18 pages in. I read it till I fell asleep.
Hi everyone! I’m new to this app and I’m still trying to figure out how to post with out having to reply on someone else’s post lol anyway…about me. My name is Franky and I’m 29. I have been drinking regularly since 19. I used it to self medicate. I got pregnant right out of high school and become a mother at the early age of 19. It was a traumatizing experience for which I have been diagnosed with ptsd and the father is not involved. I used alcohol to cope with the stress, loneliness, and depression. It was an easy fix to drown out the feelings of having “ruined my life” since I was given this huge responsibility and had to grow up before I was ready. I didn’t get to experience the freedom granted to young adults when they graduate high school, I never went way to college to pursue a meaningful career, I am poor, I didn’t get to date or travel. So alcohol was basically my medicine, best friend, and my entertainment when I was home alone everyday with a child and I needed to drown out the voices constantly telling me about the things I “can’t do.” My daughter is ten now, and I’m starting to get some sense of freedom back. I recently got into my first real relationship, but because I am so unexperienced with dating I’ve become an easy target for narcissists. I’ve broke free from that relationship and it was an eye opener that it’s time for change. It’s time to stop feeling sorry for myself and using alcohol as a crutch. I’m ready to be happy, mentally healthy, physically healthy and fit, motivated, maybe go to school, and stop spending what little money I have on cheap alcohol that is poisoning my insides and my mental health. I am still young and have the rest of my life ahead of me and I want it to be rewarding and fulfilling.
Pain killers were my downfall. I was in a car accident that injured my SI joint permanently. After I couldn’t afford pain management anymore, I turned to alcohol. Then it just became my way of life. I am 37 and I have 3 amazing girls and an incredible husband. I know they deserve better. I just want to be that better for them.
I’d put them to bed and drink an entire bottle of wine and take my mental health meds and end up blacking out. My husband has always been so patient with me. But 11 days ago, he told me he wasn’t going to live like this anymore and he wasn’t buying anymore wine. Someone was either going to end up dead or visiting the kids every other weekend. I haven’t drank since. But now my whole entire nightly routine has to change. I’m struggling finding out how to wind down. My husband says he’s happy he has his wife back. But I’m not sure who I am right now. So here I am trying to figure it out.
My name is Tiffany . I started in pain killers,many different kinds after a surgery I had as a teenager. As the years went by I became dependent in a major way. I got pregnant with my first child so I quit…no rehab no help just quit. As the years went by my doctor had convinced me that as long as I am taking this medication as prescribed I’m managing my addiction. But I found myself using every opportunity to take just one more because the prescribed dose just wasn’t enough. Well my husband is an alcoholic and was asking for my help to become sober but he didn’t need help! And for that I am so proud of him so I decided to stop right along with him. I haven’t had a painkiller since Friday morning . It’s a hard thing to quit since I am now 41 and have been “prescribed” these medications since the age of 14. But together we got this.
He is also using the tracker part of the app but doesn’t feel the need to communicate with others as I feel it helps at times.
Thank you for taking the time to read my babble…
Also I would like to say I am extremely proud of each and every one of you for having to courage to change your lives. I know it’s not easy and I know sometimes it feels like noone is here or cares. But I do !!!
I hope you all have many sober happy days ahead.
Welcome to the forum! That’s great that you guys are able to work on your sobriety together. This place has helped me immensely and I know I wouldn’t have been able to maintain my sobriety without the amazing people here. Stick around!
Hi everyone. I’m Tagen. I’m 25 year old single mom of 3. I’ve been living a life of substance abuse since 2018. I’m deciding this year to get help. I’ve tried before and failed. I’m not giving up this time. I’m going to rehab next week. My journey is starting as of January 1st!
Welcome. Best wishes on your journey!
I’m Marissa. 29 years old. 2 young children and married.
I didn’t start drinking until I was 17 and it went downhill very quickly. It became apparent that I was not going to be able to drink normally. I come from a family with alcoholism on both sides. My mother told me 'she would make a very good alcoholic" and that’s why she chose not to go down that road. A road I would have to travel myself to make that decision as well.
My drinking was very disasterous in my early 20s. Blacking out 2-3x a week. I don’t drive but, getting in cars with friends who also had lots to drink. Meeting up with strangers just so they could get me drunk…you know, all the crazy/manipulative stuff that comes with being an alcoholic.
I had my first child at 24, and it became much more ‘manageable’. I had a reason to not be drunk every day. My drinking has reduced to once a week, not every time is a bad time but every few months, I will go completely sideways and ruin months of trust between my husband and family. Once a week is still too much.
My longest time sober was 3 months last year. And what an amazing, beautiful time it was. I wish I had not started up again.
So, here we are. Day 3.
Who I become with alcohol in me, is not fair to my family and to myself. I’m actually an awesome person, as I’m sure the rest of you are as well!
Looking forward to another day sober! 
My name is Marie and I’m an addict. My sobriety date is 6/28/22. I live in Maryland with my husband of 26 yrs. We have 3 amazing children that are now all adults and 1 beautiful grandson. My addiction started 19 years ago. With all 3 I had issues with my sciatic nerve. After delivering our first 2 no issues. Once our youngest was born I had issues with my back and the sciatic pain never went away. The prescription drugs started, physical therapy, injections, spinal fusion, nerve stimulator put in (that was useless and removed), I could go on and on. When medical marijuana became available in MD I added that to the opiates, gabapentin, muscle relaxer I was already taking. Here I am 19 years later with nerve damage and worse pain then ever. When I went to my pain management bawling and begging them to give me an injection, I was told you need to make an appointment. Excuse my language but I said are you f***ing kidding me? He sent me out the door with my usual Morphine, Oxycodone and added dilaudid and amitriptyline. Even in the severe pain I was in I said enough is enough and reached out for help. I put myself in detox, and now in IOP. I love not having that crap in my system. My issue is still my sciatic nerve that is worse off now and they still can’t figure out exactly what’s causing it. I don’t know what to do to get this under control but I am not willing to go back on pain meds no matter what. Any advice is appreciated