If viewing the problem in that way is something that is helpful for someone, I am not going to tell them to stop viewing it in that way.
In my case, I did not stop using because I was powerless over my addiction and my life had become unmanageable. I quit because I was doing a poor job of managing my life and I recognized the power that I have to change that.
I don’t understand in what sense your thinking about the powerless then.
Of course we all have the power. It’s how we stopped right?
I guess I would just ask, do you need to understand how I am thinking about it?
I mean, I have total respect for the fact that you are on a path you are comfortable with. I am not asking you to justify it to me in any way.
Is it possible for me to have a path that differs without having to explain or justify or argue about it?
I think when reference is made to “powerless” it means that we cannot moderate.
My wife is a normal drinker. She can have a couple drinks and stop. She can go weeks and not take a drink. We have bottles of wine that go bad after opening, because she’ll have a glass or two, cork the rest and it turns before she feels like having another. She used to smoke albeit not heavily. Some days she might have a few. Some days none at all. When she found out she was pregnant, she quit. No patches or lozenges. She’s always had power, even when drinking and smoking.
Me? Never any wine going bad when I was drinking. I’d drink till I passed out or we ran out. I’d promise her I’d stop at 1 of we went out. More often than not, 1 turned to 5 . tried for years to quit dipping tobacco. If I dipped today, I’d be right back to full addiction. Once I indulge either of these, I am powerless to stop at will.
Weed is still illegal where I live. My wife says the prohibition is the only thing keeping her from smoking it. If they made it legal tomorrow, I wouldn’t use it, because I know me, and I’d use it all the time. I would be powerless over it.
That’s great.
I can’t remember that time I had alcohol. It was sometime in the last year, but I don’t know exactly when. I don’t drink much because I am not crazy about the way it makes me feel. Stopping at 1 is never a problem.
I lived in Seattle until May of last year. Weed was legal there and I was a daily smoker. I moved back to Texas to take a job that required a drug test, so I quit. I haven’t thought twice about smoking since then.
I have other things that I can’t moderate. Meth is one for sure. Cigarettes are another.
If you want to label that as me being powerless, I can’t stop you from doing that. I’m not going to get upset about it because the labels others put on me don’t have any power over me unless I give them power.
However, I am not going to pick up the label of “powerless” and put it on myself and use that as a defining element of my identity.
I know that I make terrible life choices when I am high. I don’t want to make those bad choices, so I choose not to get high.
Other people might be in the exact same boat with me and feel fine with the powerless label. I have never and will never try to talk someone out of perceiving their situation in that way if they choose to do so.
Live and let live. Life is too short for anything else.
I won’t label anyone anything. I’ll just admit that the only power I have over alcohol and nicotine is abstinence. There are many things I have power over, that others don’t. Porn. Seen it. Don’t care for it. Sex. Love it, but don’t have to have it when I want it. Food. I can fast, diet, moderate at will.
But substances? I don’t have to try coke to know I’d like the high, and want it. Weed. Pills. If I started using, bet on the drugs to win.
Meth is an ass alright, and I hear what your saying about the ‘powerless’ label… All I know is that I’m only 4 days clean and not sure I want to put any label on it other than to say it’s got to the point where I seem to have very little self control of a substance, but definitely want to take the power inside me back… Life is way to short alright…
I have 49 days clean of meth currently. Before my last relapse (one unfortunate day of bad decision making) I had 2 years and 2 months.
I hope you find the path that works for you. If you are honest with yourself (easier said than done) you will find your way.
Shit man 49 days is still bloody awesome… I gotta take it day by day, but I am looking forward to celebrating a week clean and free of that horrible shit!