Is there anyone working the steps that may be able to help. I don’t have a sponsor yet as I just started meetings last week but I am really struggling. Theres a part of me that feels like I can’t do this. I always self sabotage and I’m scared of finding a sponsor and screwing it all up again. I’ve already lost so much to alcohol- relationships, jobs, housing, friends- that I feel like it’s just a matter of time before I screw up my 1 year sober. How do you know you’ve done step 1? Like i have this little voice telling me I’m not worth it.
3 Likes
You matter and your life means something. I feel like giving in a bit today but I made a promise to myself to get better. There is no way but up and we are writing our own story. Make the next chapter a happy and healthy one. Keep moving forward. We have support here. I have no sponsor and will plug forward as best I can. Hang in there and don’t give up!
2 Likes
Thank you. I just feel stuck and it’s frustrating.
Yes and yes. Maybe I’m just over thinking it. I’m just scared I’ll eff it up again.
I’m not actively doing the 12 steps, but I am in the middle of reading Russell Brand’s book on recovery. It is kind of like a newbie’s guide for the steps mixed in with a book about recovery in general.
I’ve learned from him that, if I were actively doing the steps, I would be in between 3 and 4 right now.
If you’re looking for help with step work, it might be a good book for you! It’s a very easy read and entertaining as well.
2 Likes
You answered yes to both of Rain666 questions. You’ve done step one. I highly suggest getting a sponsor asap. Trying to do step work on our own is like the blind leading the blind. It just doesn’t work. If you have been sober 1 year you should feel good about that. Try not to worry about things that haven’t even happened. Deal with today
2 Likes
Scared of effing up sobriety or the steps? I found doing the steps consolidated my sobriety. And so long as u try ur best, u can’t really eff up the steps, unless u stop. And they say the only step u have to do perfectly is step 1, which is answering yes to @Mephistopheles questions and truly accepting the answer.
1 Like
In what ways has your life become unmanageable? In which ways are you powerless over alcohol? Over what other things are you powerless?
Thank you so very much. I really appreciate your words.
The guidance, caring concern and advice, ultimately the love, I got from a sponsor were the key to my sobriety in AA. The fellow I asked to sponsor me was someone I saw at two meetings in a row. He had a sponsor. He had 11 years sober at the time. And he had a specific way of working the steps that had worked for him and many others before him.
I didn’t know I did step 1 until I actually got sober - until the day I took my last drink, the farthest I had got with the step was that I knew I was powerless and my life was unmanageable. Sounds like I did the step? Nope, because I had no plan and stayed in my active drinking. I think there is a necessary codicil to this step - " and became willing to change".
Blessings on your house 
as you begin this part of your journey
2 Likes
For me unmanageable and powerless were obvious. But my sponsor asked specific questions that really made me think about how and why. That way he could always remind me of my answers in case I thought that maybe it wasn’t so bad. A very humbling experience.
1 Like
I had to write out my drinking history and highlight the unmanagability. It was illuminating for two reasons. One, it put ALL the shit I had done (and had been done to me) when drinking in one place. I had to go and add things several times. Two, it made me realise how early the warning signs had been there. It was truly sobering, pun intended.
2 Likes