I’m looking for a bit of inspiration and advise please. Im 8 days sober today and have been invited out to 2 separate gatherings, one of which is with friends and the other is with my girlfriends family. I have made excuses all day not to go to either because people don’t seem to understand that I don’t want to drink anymore for many reasons and I know that I will be pressured into it if I go.
A very recent example of this was yesterday when I said no to trying wine 4 times and was still handed a glass which I refused to drink.
I’m at a loss here I hate sitting home alone but don’t want to be around people that are drinking because my confidence isn’t the best and I hate standing out or feeling like I do
Hi Jester! Welcome!! You totally do right here. You have to protect your sobriety first and foremost. Some people really don’t get it. Keep yourself busy at home. Eventually you get steadier legs when it comes to going to social events but in the early days I bypassed them all. Good job for reaching out
I learned that real friends will understand. I had to learn that saying no, thanks is a whole sentence. You are an adult, no kid. You don’t have to apologise or justify what you are doing.
If you don’t feel like going, then don’t go. If you go and don’t like it, you can still go home. It needs some exercise but it’ll get easier. Most of my fears were in my head. Most people didn’t care if or if not I was drinking alcohol.
Whats up bro!! I am 38 days sober after a relaspe from going after sobriety and still being on the fence… During the previous attempt i gained the will to give it up mentally this time around… for me it took a stretch of isolation to overcome the social anxiety that came with no longer having the “super powers” that i thaught alcohol gave me… You will be tested but i believe that the most powerful step i took was stepping away from my world to find myself… I am now becoming more confident than i have ever been… Whatever works for you bro but I am rooting for anyone who is fighting the same demon as I… Peace and blessings!!!
You learn who your true friends are mate, I am 3 weeks sober so still along way to go but avoid my “drinking buddies”. I have no family around me as I live in Oz (originally from uk) but fortunately I have 2 great friends who have been there for me and happy to do non drinking activities (tennis,cycling, golf etc). I’m staying with one of them for a while which is a massive help, usually I live alone and just got in the habit of drinking after work most nights.(idle hands make the devils work they say) Anyway my point being keep yourself busy find an interest that will keep you occupied and hopefully you have good friends you can do stuff with that doesn’t involve alcohol.You have to cut yourself off I found from those tempting situations, maybe not forever but until you feel confident and strong enough not to crack. Good work bro keep it up we can do this shit!!!
Hi there, I totally get where you’re coming from. Today Im attending my sister’s 50th Bday party and my family LOVES to party. Lots of liquor will be there. They can party and put the plug in the jug, where as I can not. Im the type im not leaving until there is no more alcohol left. And they dont understand why I cant leave it alone like they can.
So what the best thing to do, for me was I called my sponsor and told her what was going on, that I do have to go but decided Im showing up to give her her gift, eat a plate of food , and then getting the hell out of there.
I only have 5 months sober and I still dont trust myself. I know I dont ever want to drink again but this premature in my sobriety, I can totally be triggered.
Im lucky that they dont try to push it on me, and thats pretty terrible of yours do that to you. I would try saying to my family that if I drink I will die. If the couldnt understand that, well Im not sure of what I would do. Thats a really tough situation.
Be kind to yourself and think of gegting yourself well regardless of others around you.
I wish you luck and remember what the bigbooks promises are. Thats what I do.
Because of lockdown I’ve not had to test my sobriety in a social setting for three months until today, and even though I was with very understanding friends who congratulated me on my sobriety and didn’t try and convince me to drink, seeing people drinking on a sunny day was very difficult.
I would recommend avoiding all drinking social situations until you’re a bit more sure-footed in you’re sobriety. It is difficult, no doubt.
