Not going to lie. I am super close to taking. But then I googled dopamine levels and they take weeks to months to reset.
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Hey friend 
The thing is - whatever the cause may be - when you are used to dealing with life (emotions, situations, people, etc.) with one specific activity and/or substance your whole system will need time to recalibrate. Everthing in you is used to take that shortcut of using in all kinds of situations.
Stress? use
Celebration? use
Difficulties? use
…
The thing about recovery is about not engaging in patterns that are bad for you, and instead developing new ones that are beneficial.
This takes a lot of time, months actually.
Think of it like working out, or learning to play the piano. Does that yield significant results in a few weeks?
So talk to us, learn new patterns and keep practicing recovery every single day.
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why not go to the hospital or a detox facility?
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Learn new patterns. Thank you
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Everyone is different and I’ve seen people go in and out and into them. Everything will rush out at me once I set foot out of them. Fighting the demons in hell is harder but if I can go it, with the help of God, it will stick. Detox programs are great but I use to escape mainly. The pleasure is there and it is a easy road. This is a head game at the end of the day.
Currently 5 hours away from Day 6. My all time record is 15 days. My record for this year is 10 days.
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One thing that has been of great help to me and many others you might want to consider is joining a recovery programm. There are plenty of them out there: AA, SMART, Recovery Dharma. Many of them with virtual attendance via zoom.
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Yes, and no. Dopamine is our pleasure neurotransmitter. When we were sober, we used to get it from playing games, first kiss, listening to music. But overtime, we have forced our body to create it with substances. You take away that substance, at first, you’re not gonna feel the same pleasure every day. But the human body is amazing, it does heal itself, all it needs is one thing, time. You can do it! Look at it this way, it took a long time to mess with those levels, it’s gonna take a long time to balance them back out. But it’s worth it.
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There are many ways to raise our dopamine levels, maybe google that and then DO what is suggested each amd every time you would normally use.
For me it is things like walks in nature, read a good book, watch a funny movie, have lunch with a friend, meditate, play with my dog…simple things that just make me happy.
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Really proud of u for sticking it out 
You and I have the same DOCs and i know when i got clean, it took a little while for those “feel good” hormones to return on their own. I began exercising and that has stuck with me for over the 3+ years of being clean and sober. It has helped tremendously with my dopamine levels. Have u thought of weight lifting or cardio to help increase those levels? May help
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When I first got sober one of the old timers made it real simple for me.
Don’t think. Don’t drink. Go to meetings.
There’s plenty of time to ask all the questions later. Working on the “why” will keep you sober. But for now just worry about staying sober today.
I see you rejecting a lot of suggestions of people who have gotten and stayed sober. Those are the suggestions I’d be paying attention to
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Do you work out in the morning noon or night
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I prefer mornings but not like super early lol I prefer around 9am or so. It helps me get into the right head space for the rest of the day. If i wait until the afternoon or evening, ive spent the entire day not feeling great or motivated to do anything.
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Have you considered going to NA/AA meetings regularly?
I wish you the best my friend, don’t give up.
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I’ve heard a lot of people say that working out in the morning makes you feel better all day. I don’t think I have ever done that, except when I wrestled competitively. Does it really feel a lot better in the morning as opposed to the afternoon?
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Youve done competitive wrestling? Thats pretty impressive! And I bet such a great workout!!
I love my morning workouts! Ive tried to work out in the afternoon and i just dont feel the same lol I usually like to workout fasted (having not eaten) bcuz i find food makes me feel sluggish. I guess thats why mornings work best for me. If i work out later, i would have eaten, which impacts my workouts.
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I can totally relate. Food makes me sluggish as well. Yes, there is no way to exert more energy than wrestling a full match, overtime? Forget it! Your arms and legs feel like overcooked spaghetti . Even after I was done, competing, I coached for about 10 years after. Even just the warm-up and demonstrating was a good workout. In fact, my alcoholism didn’t really take hold until I stopped coaching. I really think releasing those endorphins or whatever it is, would help me a lot with my depression/anxiety. I’m gonna try the morning workout! Thank you so much, Bobby.