I am enjoying NA and recovery but the thing is, I’m not completely sober - I still do other things, just not my DOC… what do you guys think?
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You’re not an asshole. You’re an addict. It’s not uncommon for people just starting out to go through this phase. Eventually you’ll want to be completely sober and work towards that. Or you’ll keep playing with fire until you get burned.
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Sure you’re in recovery from your d.o.c… but I would not call you sober. When I got sober, my main drug of choice was cocaine, but I switched addiction and would keep drinking which would always lead me back to the cocaine. Some times I could drink without wanting coke, but usually I’d always go back. Sobriety means doing nothing, it means staying sober and not escaping life. Living life on life’s terms. I mean good job on not doing your doc but at the end of the day you switched addiction. But if you’re wanting to not do anything then I wish you all the best
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Just keep working at giving it all up. You’ll see how much better life will be when you’re completely clean and sober.
Sobriety to me means…absolutely no mind altering substances.
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At first, I stopped smoking, then I quit drinking too. These were my addictions. I was never one to really take drugs, not consistently anyway. Drugs were more of a one off here and there kinda thing for me, so I never thought I had a problem with them. I was thinking I was sober, yet there was four occassions within a 7 month alcohol and cigarette free time period where I took drugs… I thought I was still ‘sober’ because drugs weren’t the problem and never had been… however I quickly realised, after these four times, the slippery slope I was heading down. Taking drugs on these occasions did not make me feel good! Not really. They were just another way I’d found to substitute my own self-worth and self-love for escape through substance; to give me the illusion of being/feeling good enough. Really, I was just scared and didn’t know yet how to be sober. I think NA, similar to AA, is for anyone who seeks it out, because, in said seeking comes healing:sparkles:. You deserve to heal; you’re not an asshole. Keeping doing the next right thing, just for today, one day at a time. You are worthy of offering and receiving love and reverence to and from yourself 
I wish you all the best 
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You’re definitely not an asshole Holly. I, a gaming addict, am almost a year gamefree and still struggle with with giving up other things like TV shows and YouTube. So it’s not strange that you too are not yet willing to part with everything.
But…it is really hard to manage juggling substance addiction and using another substance and simply not worth the struggle. Trust me, whenever I relapsed on YouTube, it was so fucking hard not to watch a gaming video. And if I had, I’d probably have relapsed and perhaps even opted out.
Using another substance than your doc is the same as me watching gaming video’s. A slippery slope.
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As long as your keeping it honest to yourself when ya in the rooms hopefully your progression will lead you naturally to full soberity, I still gamble no like I use to but its something I got to be extremely mindful of. Stay honest your can’t go far wrong with speaking your truth in the rooms. Xx
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