Is this classed as a FAIL!?

Hey there all,
So I recently joined this app like 40 days ago…but never wanted to join on here to actually write and comment …first of all I just wanted to say how proud and happy i am for all of you on this app…This year has been very very hard for me… and very tough it lead me to drink after breaking my back in six places due to a seizure! Also having to send my 7 year old son to his dads to live until I came out of hospital also my baby who I gave birth to in November last year who was two months old I couldn’t bond with him either as I was away from him so long and when he was born he was in hospital quite a while in another unit after birth…also my one year and a half year old I couldn’t see every day while I was there !!! I struggled alot when I came out of hospital with depression as every seizure I had in keep re-brakeing my back and currently I still do depending on the seizure ofcourse… also my step son was murdered in a horrific way wich is alot of stress on my partner and I causing arguments also me having a few drinks every night and day got worse as it caused alot more arguments . I done this because it will soon be a great start to a new year as I’m currently trying to find a new home with all of my babies and stay with my partner ofcourse but a new start somewhere will do us all great I have alot of other illnesses and always feel like I cant talk to anyone so though fuck it … I’m going to ask these guys a question to see weather i need to restart my days or not … in ths last 41 days I have had on a weekend 3 beers the other week and four last week and three yesterday on a saturday insist and have a relax now and me time lay in the bath with a beer and scream in my head let the pressure out haha !!! Instead of loads and loads or every day … would that be classed as a fail as if so I am willing to stop having the odd beer on a saturday x
I read all you guys comments and there so encouraging and great I think I’ve done well but I’m sure u will put me in my place about it

If so I will reset my app
If not I will carry on n stop the weekly destress I call it haha

That’s even if u want to read and comment
Thanks guys and girls
Oh and happy xmas to you all that’s helped me thanks in advance

Well done to you all also
From ellie x
27
Lincolnshire England x

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Hey Ellie; I’m glad you decided to write; you have so much going on. I’m blown away by it all and you’re still here trying so I give you big kudos for that! Generally, you reset each time you drink… again, I give you a lot of credit hun for being here and talking about it!

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Hey there and welcome. I wouldn’t call it a fail, as your title implies, especially if you keep working on it. However, personally, I’d reset the counter with an alcoholic drink, or even an intentional mouthful etc. Definitely helps with accountability, and a timer is in regards to how long you’ve completely abstained in my opinion. But doesn’t mean a fail!!
Welcome, stick around a read lots! :hugs:

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You gotta reset it. You have to know that them days are truly yours. You can’t look back and say I’m 30 days sober but. And if you can’t be honest with yourself and be proud of what you have achieved no one else will give a crap either. Most addicts though cannot stop at a few it would sound crazy to me to think I could have 4 beers and be happy with that, we are all different though if you can go a whole week and not think about drinking then have a few at the weekend and never need more then that sounds like the promised land to me. It very rarely stays that way though and you don’t even notice till 30 years later.

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I think about it every day it’s very hard not to and yes I stop after that amount and it’s even harder but I see in my self as its monday today this week I shall try not having the one day of having a destress and I have no one to talk to or destress on also I think in my mind currently it was just a few weeks of once a week … and now I want to start the none atall I’m proud of my self and my partner is to of her far I have come and now the next step is absolutely none !!!
I really am feeling ready now so yes I will restart it thankyou all for you kind words it has been a very hard year obviously more has happened than this but u all dont need to hear my son stories it been very tough money wise too but I managed to get beer every day before so cant have been that bad but I am here now and I’m willing to jump on the next train to sobriety all together xx
Thanks so much x

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Your life sounds very difficult. That’s a lot of crazy shit to deal with. I can understand how you fell into some bad habits to deal. But I’m just worried that you will think you have it under control, being just once a week or only a couple at a time, and before you know it you’re back in the same place. I know bc I’ve done it over and over and came to the conclusion I cannot drink. At all. Id tell my man I wasnt drinking and just buy 3 shots and he wouldn’t notice bc I wasnt acting like my crazy blackout self but I was just lying to myself. I landed right back in that bad spot every time. But this time I’m not lying or hiding anything anymore. Reset and keep going strong.

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You talk off de-stress. Truth be told you are putting your body and mind true so much more stress then you really think… It’s simple, after drinking this 4 and going to sleep is it a better world the next day? So the alcohol doesn’t do jack. It only gets you closer and closer to braking down and giving in.

Be proud and stand tall. Find help cause seems te me doing all this with just your partner is to much.

Good luck to you all.

Considering all the horrible things alcohol has done for you I would be more focused on getting and staying sober than anything.

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