I’m taking a walk and I’m hit by lots of questions. Am I too hard on myself? Is my Netflix-addiction really that problematic? Is this what I want? Can I really never game again? Why did I have to become addicted? Do I really have to be on top of all my behaviours? Is a perfect life a good life?
I don’t know anymore guys. I don’t know if I want to do this anymore but I have to. Do I though? Do I really have to build up Netflix very slowly? Was that too harsh?
I’m confident that I’m too harsh on myself. I’m filled with constant stress wondering if I’m doing things perfect. I don’t want that anymore. I know that Netflix can be problematic, but I also know that it has not been problematic for me. It has not affected me negatively at all. I’ve been way too hard on myself. It’s time to just have some faith in myself. I’ve had intense cravings so often. I can game within 10 seconds, but I never did. Not in 250+ days.
I’m no longer going to build up slowly until 2 hours a day for Netflix, but just allow myself to watch 2 hours of Netflix each day starting now.
With these corona times it’s okay if I spent more time than usual on an activity. It’s okay to build with LEGO’s all day. It’s okay to make puzzles all day. It’s okay if it prevents boredom, cravings and relapse. Once all shit opens we’ll see again, but for now it’s okay.
I am really wondering since when 17-year-olds get existential crises tho
I must admit you had gotten me thinking about myself watching Netflix and if it was possibly addictive behaviour for me and the conclusion for me was that it is not,I will watch something on it sometimes for hours on end if it is a good series Tec but I do not crave to sit down and watch Netflix. It made me question if it is addictive or is it simply that there is something good on there that you want to watch,only you can know.
Now gaming you should definitely stay away fro ,a sixty hour gaming binge and gaming to avoid dealing with the passing of loved ones is not healthy behaviour as you well know.
It sounds to me like you may be at the oh I can just have one drink,I doubt it was ever reLy a problem stage which you know is your mind trying to trick you.
Your pretty clued up about addiction, only you can know regarding the Netflix. 
And there are plenty of 16 and 17 year olds on here who have existential crisis often leading to things like cutting
I’ve wondered if it was the one drink mindset. But it isn’t. I think it’s not even an addiction for me. I prioritize. I may have broken my limits, but in these times where I can’t do shit that’s okay. My counselor who is 30 years in recovery and who has 20 years of counseling told me that it’s fine if I’m obsessive now. Especially since I don’t have school and barely work. I’m not saying I can watch Netflix as much as I want. I’m saying I won’t build up to watching up to 2 hours for almost a year, but that I’ll start watching up to 2 hours a day now
I just saw this. I have not broke my limit yet. Do I really want to give up what I have now? I don’t. I will put my limit on 50 minutes instead of 25 for now, and with a 5 minute increase every week instead of every 2 weeks
It sounds to me like there’s a few questions floating around your mind (all important ones).
What stands out to me is this:
- Perfection is impossible (and is itself a symptom of the grandiose / distorted thinking we have as addicts - so be careful) - life is about healthy balance (which doesn’t necessarily mean giving in to something you think is unhealthy - just try to think about what in your life is or could be healthy, and focus on that)
- You only have 24 hours in the day. Do you think there comes a point for everyone where worrying about what we shouldn’t be doing takes more time than it should? Is there value in spending that time instead working on what we should, or what we want to be doing? And have faith in the Higher Power or Bigger Plan - that you’ll find what you need.
What do you think?
I agree that perfection is impossible. And if it were possible, I don’t think it would be fun. I think we shouldn’t spend too much time on perfection, because YOLO, you only live once. Good life quality is great, but longing for perfection isn’t a good quality of life. That’s why I decided to start watching up to 2 hours a day haphazardly. I realized that that is a bit too fast, so I changed that plan too to have a balance. Not too fast, but not too slow.
I think a lot addicts spend a lot of time thinking about what they could do betterand there’s probably plenty who have a similar mindset as me. I want to achieve perfection because I’m afraid I’m a disappointment to myself, the people on here, but especially to my rehab counselors. I have this constant pressure that I only realised this evening. My rehab was great, but I think it aimed too much for perfection and I’m afraid it will be hard to easen that mindset, but I will eventually.
I try to live a disciplined life, and part of this is limiting the amount of TV I watch, be it Netflix, Amazon Prime, UFC fight pass, or any of the other streaming channels I have access to.
I only allow myself to watch TV between 7pm Friday and 7pm Sunday. Every other evening, I read, after my martial arts classes, and after everything else is taken care of. This usually means I have about 30 minutes of reading every weeknight, and maybe 45 to 90 minutes of TV Friday and Saturday.
Another thing to consider is we are what we eat, and this includes our brains. I try to read and watch things that will expand my understanding of the world, rather than entertaining escapes. That is not to say I don’t indulge in a drama or comedy now and again, but this is the exception and not the rule.
Maybe consider this approach as you want to moderate your screen time.
Maybe try and join a team or get to gym young guy like you when i was your age my mum used to have to call me and my brothers in for our dinner we were always out playing could run to the moon and back at that age. off course no technology then black and white tv only three channels stopped at ten at night national anthem lol take up a intrument plenty of other things to do ,wish you well
Am with Ray m8 not meaning to sound cheeky but if u really that young you should b bouncing out your skin every single sport we would play as youngsters u sound like an intelligent young man
There you go! Kindness to yourself, more flexibility and checking in with yourself often, seeing how situations change and what they call for - these strategies will get you a long long way! Proud of you! 
Since always! 
I wished we would have had this app back when I was your age!! But I would have been way too proud and stubborn to use it back then… 
You’re doing really good.
Please take into consideration of your other needs… Your body does need time out, your mind sometimes does need to watch something to ‘frag’ out too…
When I have a very impactful day where I have overloaded myself sometimes the only thing that has helped is watching a TV set…