So… I don’t like working with my sponsor. I like her but I don’t want to go this coming Saturday morning to “work the steps.” I could think of a lot more creative and useful things to do with my time, and I don’t want to just waste it doing steps in the way she is doing them (lots of marking up the Big Book, filling in worksheet answers).
My first sponsor made it feel like two friends getting together, and I really miss that!
Any advice from those of you who are aa types?
My two instant thoughts are … are you hesitant to redo steps and or have you said you would prefer to just do it “this” way. That being said some people are stuck in there own ways. Me being one of them marking up my big book would piss me off. I’d have to buy another one 
. But each person will have our own quirks. I always figured an open conversation solves most issues. My sponsor (more friend) and I really just talk. If or moreover when I struggled I just humbly asked how the heck do I do xy and z. We are approximately the same age and both of us are strong personalities so I worried about how it would work but the mutual respect is great between us.
What reason should I give for cancelling this Saturdays step work? I’d like to get a new sponsor before I tell her that I’ve decided not to work with her!
As hard as it is I would just say that her approach isn’t working for you. Don’t make excuses as someone who has been down the same road as you they can smell the BS coming. I would probably try to tell her what is going on and see if she had suggestions? I know you have some time under your belt and probably have a footing in your recovery and feel like you are getting treated as if you are new to the program. And that maybe all she has worked with so far so she’s just doing the same for you? It may be the lightbulb moment for the two of you to reset and move forward or you to find a new sponsor. I would hope if she is a sponsor she wouldn’t put her own emotions into the conversation. I think that the sponsor should be more of a mentor role and should be the mature side (I hope that makes sense). Don’t be intimidated by anyone in the room it’s your recovery!!!
Thanks @Chad_R! Dealing with things and being an emotionally sober adult is kinda like, YUCK!!
I like what @Chad_R said. It’s not her program. It’s yours. And if you don’t like your program then that can lead to resentments in a flash
I was without a sponsor for a good 3-4 months at the beginning because simply in my home town there’s not many active male members and most were/are not the ones I want as a sponsor. So I sat back did my 8th step on my own at first and I got hung up on how do I make amends to said person if I know it’s going to threaten my sobriety? So as time had went by I became friends with a member who has 20 years but he’s busy running a rehab facility and makes a meeting once every couple of weeks but. Anyway we stumbled across trading numbers for business and it just fell together. I told him what I was doing what I needed and asked if he could help me when I stumbled. And it’s been great for me. He did push me and at first I didn’t know it. But we had a fellow member fall apart and he sent me to help him and I thought afterwards why the hell had he put me in that situation with 5-6 months but it was to push me! But my approach was anything but the conventional route but it’s working for me. And I’m only telling you this to show you that you can find what you need sometimes it just takes a different approach.
I would definately be honest with your sponsor about what’s going on. Im one of those people that had always done Step 1,2,3 im out. So this time around im on my 3rd sponsor, because the other 2 did not have the time, but i was on my 4th step with my second sponsor, and ended up getting my 3rd sponsor in the mist of doing my 4th. Instead of starting me over on Step 1, she let me continue with step 4. I was more than relieved of this. But i was honest about how i felt about the whole thing and she understood.
My questions for you are, how many times have you worked the steps before, in general?
Have you tried it her way before? If so, what didnt you like about it? Like have you worked the steps how she does it before and this is a continuation from last time? Does it feel like school all over again?
Are you comfortable with her? Because Step 4 will be coming up and are you going to be okay with telling her your stuff?
Do you think you just need a new sponsor? Maybe she isn’t the right fit for you period.
my guys come to my house we have acup of tea and discuss the program im a old timer so i just go through it the way my sponsor did for me way back ! its at their pace im only a guide and when your done you only practice the last three unless you go out again ? always tell my guys if they have any issues to talk to me .fingers crossed havnt had any major ones , wish you well ,
I took the easy way out to cancel meeting my sponsor for step work this Saturday - I just told her I needed to spend my sitter time (which is so rare by the way, another reason I am picky about how I spend my time!!) on Saturday getting ready for the twins’ first day of school, which is on Monday. I also told her I don’t have a lot of time in general for the written work, so I would like to wait until I have actually done it to reschedule. BUT I invited her to go to the beach with us on Sunday afternoon. The twins and I will go for a couple of hours. In a sense I am waiting to see if she is into real-life activities, and also to see how tuned in she is to MY real life stuff. There are a lot of things I have to deal with…they affect my mood and thinking. I won’t get into them here.
My sponsor just texted to schedule our next step meeting. So this time I am going to have to say something. It just isn’t working for me. Arghhh!!
I know it’s not funny for you at all but it put a smeerk on my face. You can do this!
No I can’t! I keep whimping out! 
I’m going to be on here all the time if I can’t find a new one!
I think you will stumble right into the right one for you. And you know you are always welcome to post away.
Feeling depressed, after finally texting her that it probably just wasn’t a good fit… We had some back-and-forth over the last couple of days, but I just decided it probably wasn’t going to work. I don’t feel enough of a connection with her, and that is at least 80% of why a sponsor works for you.