I have been sober for 18 days today. I thought it would be easy. I didn’t drink every day, I never was drunk at work. My alcoholism wasn’t that bad yet. I thought maybe some weekend will be hard, the special occasions will be hard. I didn’t expect that every day was going to be hard. I didn’t change my drinking for anything this time and I realised I have always had something, drugs, drinking, self harm, eating disorders, sex. Something to keep my mind of my feelings. And now I don’t and it’s so hard to feel it all. I used to love my work and I don’t even like it anymore. I really didn’t think that I would feel like this.
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Congratulations on your 18 days that’s brilliant 
I’m sorry to hear your going through a tough time. I can tell you that these feelings are normal as our body’s start healing and our brain makes new pathways to deal with life and even enjoy it sober.
These feelings will pass, they won’t last forever try to keep yourself occupied and take one day at a time. What can you do for today to get through it, just for today.
Keep reaching out here too, that’s what were here for
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Welcome and congratulations on your 18 days Cats. That first month of a whole new life style change is pretty hard. It was for me anyway. And the feelings. Oh boy. And the tears. And the anger. I was feeling everything. Sometimes all at once. It was pretty confusing. But sharing them and getting them out on here always helped me a lot.
There’s a great thread called the daily checkin. Checking in daily to maintain focus #43. Lots of good people on there that know what you’re talking about.
Here’s another thread to check out too if your interested.
Have a good read around and join in when your comfortable.
Do you do any kind of meditations. Guided meditations help me a lot.
I hope to see you around.
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First off:
Way
To
Go.
You’re doing something difficult; that you might not even know how to do, and instead of hiding your struggles you’ve reached out for help.
That, in and of itself, took courage. Rock on.
I distinctly remember feeling the same way when I was newly sober and there were a few key things that helped me get passed the part you’re in now.
I broke up with myself.
I ABSOLUTELY didn’t want to be the person I was, in my use. I did terrible things that hurt me and others and I came to a place where I wholely and completed was not willing to let that happen again.
SO… No matter how bad I felt or how hard it was to deal with my new influx of emotions, I could always take comfort in knowing that every day I stayed sober was a day away from the person I WAS and a day toward the man I wanted to become. Sometimes my days were full of decisions that boiled down to just that: “Am I moving toward my old ways or away from them?” As long as I could say AWAY from them, no matter how hard it was, it felt like it was the right thing to do.
I chose to cultivate my curiosity.
I realized that I know everything there is to know about me getting drunk. There would be nights where I’d think “a drink would make this right” or “A drink would fix this”… “I know I can have just one and be ok” …" I’m never gonna be able to stay sober long term, so why not just give up" … Then I would say to myself “what’s the point of drinking? You know exactly where it leads. You know exactly what it will and won’t fix. You know everything about being drunk and nothing about being sober!” “So let’s find out what being sober is like”
And I can honestly tell you that I was curious to find out. That curiosity helped need keep going and before I knew it, all this strange stuff started happening. Things that hadn’t happened before. I got good sleep and had a better memory. I had more energy and was MORE emotionally balanced. I started laughing more and making other people laugh. I started performing better and better at work and getting more job offers.
I am almost 4 years sober today and it has paid off in more ways than I can tell you. My life is vibrant and exciting and new things are happening all the time and ya know what: I’m STILL curious to see where this goes!
I learned to listen and listened to learn.
At some point early on, I came to this app and met these beautiful people. I had accepted that my prior plans and strategies weren’t working out and my best thinking got me nowhere good. So, I begged for help and I asked all the questions and I read and read and read and before long I just started doing what the other successfully sober people told me to do. I stopped telling myself what to do and instead listened to what others had done and also what others told me to do. There’s a reprieve in that. It was a new kind of freedom. Slowly but surely, I was surrendering and it never ever bit me in the ass. It always worked. But I had to accept that I didn’t know what to do. I wasnt the “self made man” I thought I was. I was a self made mess. I learned so much just by listening. Just stopping all of my arrogant ego driven mindsets and, for once, listening to someone else. And here’s what they told me.
Keep coming back.
Before you drink again, come here.
Before you succumb to anger, come here.
Before the pain is too much, come here.
None of us do it alone, why should you have to?
Keep coming back and we’ll love you until you love yourself.
And it worked.
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@MrCade that is some terrific advice right there. I am on Day 21 now and I am feeling just like @Catsandholo. It’s like someone’s turned the contrast up on life. So many feelings, so intense.
But I am going to go away and cultivate my curiousity just as you suggested.
Thanks for the advice. I didn’t even know I needed it today but it’s really struck me.
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Hey , 18 days it’s not bad, congrats , as some one whose been there and share many of the same distractions you mentioned I know how hard 18 days are , I’m going on 3 years and it hasn’t been easy , but thanks to a great support system, AA, and this app and the people on it I keep on pushing forward. You got this, you just got to remember that these feelings aren’t forever , and that there’s also good feelings, good times and good vibes that you can have without any need for drugs, alcohol, etc. Sometimes we just need to face those hard feelings and realize they aren’t as bad as they seem …and sometimes they come with lessons and strength. Also I’ve come to realize that some hardships become blessings down the line. I hope you keep pushing on…stay on here and reach out…we all here for each other, stay strong and stay blessed
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Congratulations!! Yes…all the feels. We’ve been numbing so long that it feels unbearable. I’m a highly sensitive person and I think that’s part of why I drink, to stop thinking and feeling. But this is what makes us human. I think we just have to get used to it.
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I heard this week at my kids school something that struck me as an amazing truth:
“Sometimes, someone out there knows what you’ll need even before you know you’ll need it”
In this case, your words were just it for me. Thank you. I really, really needed it today, it was a day when I could have relapsed very easily if I didn’t have the right mindset.
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Congratulations on 18 days 
I’m at day 68 and yes, it is still not easy to feel everything. Going through a very tough patch at work, and the temptation to have a drink comes often.
But then I remind myself where this “just one glass or two to relax” leads, and it’s towards something that definitely doesn’t work for me anymore. I’m less capable of dealing with feelings when I put a drop of alcohol into the mix. It leads to me being anxious, feeling weak and insecure.
Having the clarity of mind to understand what is happening and allowing myself to feel frustrated, angry, sad, empty even, and find productive ways to cope is hard work. But it is better than avoiding feelings and letting them snowball.
Write those feelings down. In a diary or in this forum. Talk about them - here or with people near you. I find that very helpful 
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Oh wow.
Thanks for taking the time to let me know this.
No matter what happens for the rest of today, I can go to bed knowing that I helped someone.
That’s a powerful gift you’ve just given me.
I needed that today. Thank you.
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How are you doing today, Cats?
Hope with another couple of days in your counter and feeling a little better?
Did you do anything different to try to cope with all these intense feelings?
Sending you love and good vibes
The three letters that are the bridge leading to no man’s land 
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Feelings get better the longer you stay sober