Well it’s been 24 years of telling myself I could handle my drinking. 24 years of being a “functioning” drunk. I’m very successful, I work in public safety and I admittedly self medicate. The trauma I have witnessed over the years has only contributed to the wounds on my psyche and my regular weekend parties gradually turned into all night binges. I have 1 divorce under my belt that, by all accounts is because of my drinking and choices early on in life. I am fighting to keep my second marriage together, but find myself regularly and repeatedly sliding backward into old habits. I have worked very hard over the last year on my overall health and fitness, losing 30 lbs in the process and getting as fit as I have been in my life. But the drinking still remains…an 8-12 pack on a weekend day is not out of the question and 1-2 drinks on week nights was frequently turning into 4-6. I have experienced separation, hospital visits, infidelity and embarrassing brushes with law enforcement in the past as a result of my drinking and over the last year, most of my binges end in blackouts. I told myself over the years I had hit rock bottom but I don’t think I ever really did until now. I have 3 days and 11 hours sober, and a wife and 3 kids to motivate me to continue down this path of healthier living. There is so much more to share, but this is a post, not a book, so I will leave it as is. I’m thankful I found this forum.
keep up the good work! As the spouse of a drinker, it means so so much when the bottle gets put down. I am happy for you, your wife, and your children as it will getter better (and sometimes harder) from here.
You can do this. And your life will get better. I have 385 days sober and not drinking has changed my life. It’s hard work so you have to reach out for the tools available to you. It’s absolutely worth it
Post all you like…that’s what it’s here for. I don’t mind reading a book😀
Welcome here! Admit that you have a problem is step 1. Stop drinking is 2. So you are on your way! Congratulations!! But there are many steps to come, but one day at a time. You can do this! Come here, read, talk! It helps! 
I wish you strength and wisdom
Thanks for sharing, I see a lot of my old self in the behaviour your describing. It’s horrible I know. The good news is you can get better.
I’m not pushing AA, thats your choice, but I’d suggest you Google and read AA Doctors Opinion at least, see if it makes sense to you. It’ll take about 5-10 minutes to read so there’s nothing to lose really.
Feel free to DM me with any questions you might have regarding it.
I too am brand new. Today is day ONE. Our story sounds similar. Keep up the good work