It's been a rough week

This week has been tough. Monday was the anniversary of a loss, Tuesday I found out someone I live with was in contact with covid but the test came back negative today. Work has been weird lately, people keep getting sick and life is just exhausting right now.

I’m so tired. Everything is stressing me out, it’s so hard to try and relax. I’m still taking my meds, staying sober, going on my daily walks to help clear my head. I feel like I’ve hit a plateau. I don’t feel like I’m getting much better. I just feel hopeless and empty. I know it’s probably just the isolation making my depression worse but it’s still a lot to be feeling. I wish I could shut my feelings off.

I’m trying to stay positive. Making lists of reasons to keep going, doing things that make me happy. And I’m sure this shitty feeling will ease soon. It’s just hard right now. I’m not suicidal by any means, but I don’t like being alive either.

I’ve come too far in my life to give up now. I’ve been trying so hard for so long to heal and recover, but fuck it’s hard. I would love a drink but I’m not gonna. I can’t afford to go backwards again.

I just needed to get all that off my chest. Any comfort/advice is more than welcome. Thanks guys.

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Hey Amanda. I don’t know if I got any advice for you or not. But I get how you feel. A lot of times, like today, I’m feeling hopeless and empty, and the thing is, I don’t really have any good reason to feel that way. It seems like the more I work on myself the more I get depressed. I mean. I’m good. But it seems like I constantly have to work on dealing with my feelings. It use to be so easy to just head to the bar and drink. I don’t feel like drinking. I don’t do that anymore. But I’m truthfully sick and tired of having to deal with my feelings if that makes any sense? I too make sure I get out and walk with my music. It always helps me feel better. And gratitude. I might head on over to the gratitude thread again to write down what I’m grateful for. That always makes me feel better too. I’m sure my shitty feelings will come and go too. That’s just the way it is. I’m glad you were able to get that off your chest. And it’s helped me sharing with you to get what I got off my chest.
As long as we don’t pick up. We’re winning. Even if it doesn’t feel like it.
:pray:t2::heart:

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Have you joined any online or in person sobriety communities? Connection with other sober people is critical for me to live my fullest life. You don’t have to do this alone. Zoom online meetings can be done with complete anonymity if that is a concern for you.

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Go easy on yourself, this time of year is rough, and that may not be helping. Perhaps you just need some downtime and rest, maybe a new show to watch? Or perhaps some self-care, do something you like and enjoy just for you. Hang in there, better days are coming. Congrats on your sobriety :yellow_heart:

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Glad you vented here. You aren’t alone. I think the world is overwhelmed and overwhelming and how the hell can that not get us down at times? It is cathartic to write it out…send it off and be done with it. Let a bit of steam out.

Sending positive juju your way for a better week. A fresh day, a good night’s sleep, a sunset, some nourishing food, refreshing water and solace here…among friends who understand.

Be well! :heart:

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Word finds always help me when I’m in a funk
Keep going! You got this! Covid has been extremely difficult. It’s all around where I’m at too. Its not something we can ignore or get away from and I think that’s the hardest part.
Be proud of yourself! Nice hot baths with salts are nice and if you have a salt lamp that night help with working through the anxieties and stress
:purple_heart:you’re not alone. You’re strong. You’re worthy.

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Keep the consumption of news fairly light…they want to scare people, and it will not help you. Can always read the newspaper and find out what happened 5-18 hours ago

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Aww girl. You’re doing so awesomely.
That place where you’re not suicidal but you also don’t wanna be alive. You’re doing what you’re supposed to do, looking after yourself, and it’s just hard and no guarantee it’ll get better, there never is… I know that place well. I also know the suicidal place of I can’t go on like this. And what a relief the grey slog you’re in now is from the acute torture of burning despair. But it’s hard. I hear you.
I can absolutely tell you it’ll get better again. It always does. You’re doing super, being there for yourself. If I lived around, I’d take you out for a coffee and a chat. Stay strong Amanda! :purple_heart:

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Good you vented! I can feel with you. I don’t have advice but I send you big hugs :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

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