As day 836 alcohol free comes to a close, I find myself being envious of people who can still catch a buzz and not pay for it the next day. Especially when I see much older people enjoying alcohol. I’ve been thinking to myself “why the hell cant I just be normal and not take everything I do to excess” I’ve been beating myself up mentally for the last week or so. I think this has been triggered by me working with my mom now and realizing how much she drinks because I am on phone calls with her almost everyday (she gets to work from home, I work at the building) .
I know I shouldnt be jealous of drinkers but sometimes I just wanna scream!!!
How do you know they aren’t paying for it the next day? If I think about it, even on my decent drinking nights, ones were I caught a buzz but didn’t get druuuunk, I woke up with a hangover, dry mouth and fog/general slowness.
What are you missing in life that you’d want to fill the void with booze?
Well, I dont think I am envious…but I still cannot understand normal drinkers. Ms. is a normie. When offered a drink she says “no”, sometimes she doesn’t finish a drink, and she has wine bottles that collect dust.
I just cannot figure out how she does it. Do I wish I could be like that…maybe, because that would make me not an alcoholic.
I am an alcoholic, so I will just continue to be amazed at how she can control what she drinks without effort.
maybe theyre not openly battling alcoholism, but theyre likely battling something, i mean, everyones got troubles and stress. i try and remember w everyone i see or meet in the day that all i get is a snapshot of their life and who knows what else is goin on behind the scenes ya know?
I’ll be honest I’ve never seen the point in alcohol drank sensibly I think if u dont drink it to excess ur doing it wrong. So I look at these failed, fake drinkers and I pity them for not drinking like a maniac in the first place and then I confuse myself an laugh at what I’ve just said and all is forgotten and I keep living soberly yay.
For myself… Just remember why you stopped in the first place. Becoming the best version of yourself will settle your envy and false sense of pleasure. If you were a true alcoholic then you have experienced the pinnacle of a drinker. Now try use that drive in sobriety and the miracles will come.
Totally get that. I mean, I like the taste of whatever I chose to drink, but I chose it for the buzz! LOTS of stuff tastes good! On day 7, so super impressed with your days
Hi, sorry that your having these thoughts my friend, I completely understand where your coming from. When I have these or similar thought I turn to the letter that I wrote myself on the first day I decided to stop forever. As @DrkniteNZ says, if we remember why we stopped it eradicates the ‘what if’ thoughts. This will pass but I totally get it.
Stop living in your head and romantasizing it does us no good, you’ve said it out aloud now so see it for what it is and let that shit go, ppl like us can’t just have 1 period, congratulations on your clean time that’s some impressive numbers all the best moving forward,
I drank what I had to drink and then some. I’ve come to terms with my alcoholism and accepted it as a Fact of Life. I pissed 15 years of my life away and I’ve had nothing to show for it. When I hit my 1 Year, I sat down and reflected what I’ve accomplished and it was more than I did than those 15 years combined. I’m looking forward what I can do in the next 15 years, Sober.
Congrats on your sober time and equally on your honesty admitting that you have these thoughts and feelings so far along your road to recovery! I would say there’s likely something you’re holding on to, something you’re still projecting into alcohol and a drinking lifestyle that part of you thinks you’re missing out on sober. Ask yourself what that is. Some idea of fun, relaxation or whatever, that you attribute to drinking. Let the knowledge that this is an illusion and based in your thinking sink in. Your life is not lesser without alcohol, on the opposite, many here experience their lives as richer, calmer, more manageable, they achieve more etc. Get to the bottom of what your mental holdup is. That said, I know these thoughts myself aswell. But they are fleeting.
Another point I find important to always remember is: don’t judge your insides by other people’s outsides. As has been pointed out: you don’t know why they drink, if and how they also struggle with it, what they do privately.
You need to be grounded in your life and find enough enjoyment and meaning in it, then there’ll be no jealousy.
The thing is my circle everyone drinks and you do tend to think of yourself as a lurker. It is hard, but it is your choice, you know the outcome if you start again. Just remember it is perfectly normal not drink, whilst drinking is not.
is a normie. When offered a drink she says “no”, sometimes she doesn’t finish a drink, and she has wine bottles that collect dust.
. Bin there done that 
I would say there’s likely something you’re holding on to, something you’re still projecting into alcohol and a drinking lifestyle that part of you thinks you’re missing out on sober. Ask yourself what that is. Some idea of fun, relaxation or whatever, that you attribute to drinking. Let the knowledge that this is an illusion and based in your thinking sink in. Your life is not lesser without alcohol, on the opposite, many here experience their lives as richer, calmer, more manageable, they achieve more etc. Get to the bottom of what your mental holdup is. That said, I know these thoughts myself aswell. But they are fleeting.